"Why do you assume I'm single? Just because I'm a busy woman, with a fear of intimacy and a loathing for men, doesn't mean I'm not attached."
--Sarah Howe, Sarasota, FL
Election 2008 | The Latest Poop
White House Faces Foreclosure
A “Notice of Foreclosure Sale” was issued for the White House on Friday, informing the occupants they have 30 days to vacate the premises before it is sold at auction. According to loan documents, the United States Government, listed as the owner of the property located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC., has been in default [...]
Featured Whiff
WASHINGTON -- The federal government is planning on bailing out huge Wall Street corporations with up to a trillion dollars of taxpayers' money -- your money! The Skunk doesn't think that's fair. We believe average citizens like you should get a cut of the proceeds. That's why we're proud to announce our "Where's My Bailout Money, Congress?" assistance program.
The LexiCON: Conservative Lingo Exposed
- mar · riage (mar' ij) n. Union between a man and the woman he will eventually leave for his younger, more attractive mistress. SEE: JOHN MCCAIN. #
- com·pas·sion·ate con·ser·va·tive n.
Expression used to make right-wing lawmakers and their heartless policies seem a lot nicer.
USAGE: "The compassionate conservative voted against medical care for the homeless." #
- in-tel-li-gent de-sign (in-tel-i-juhnt di-zahyn) n.
Term invented to trick school districts into teaching creationism.
USAGE: "The universe was created by Intelligent Design. Republicans, not so much." #
- ac-tiv-ist judge (ak' tiv ist juj) n. the doctrine that anytime a court's ruling is contrary to one's own opinion, the justice shall be referred to as an "activist judge."
USAGE: "The order for the Senator to stay 300 feet away from elementary schools was given by an activist judge." #
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