John McCain

John McCain will be hosting an evening of strip poker at his ranch in Sedona, Arizona, to size-up some of the contenders he is considering as potential running mates.

“It’s just a casual affair,” said McCain. “We get together, kick back a few beers and play Texas Hold ‘em until midnight — or until all of us are completely naked.”

Invited guests include Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, a previous rival for the Republican presidential nomination.

“McCain’s poker parties are legendary,” said Romney, “and I look forward to enjoying some naked revelry and bonding with my fellow Republicans.”

“It’s all part of the process,” said Gov. Crist. “Senator McCain wants to see us, warts and all. What better way to size-up a man than to see him naked?”

“It’ll be a warm and affectionate evening,” added Gov. Jindal. “We’ll tell stories and give each other backrubs amid that musky smell of manly nakedness.”

McCain emphasized what he’s looking for in a VP. “I want a running mate with decent values,” he said. “I’ll be taking this opportunity to gauge their moral compasses — make sure they’re pointing in the right direction.”

Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee was also invited but declined the invitation in a handwritten RSVP. “I am a religious man and feel that gambling is a sin,” wrote Huckabee. “As such, I’d prefer to get naked with you during the week sometime, in a more wholesome environment.”