Four-year-old Billy Tipton’s best friend — an imaginary owl named Scabooboo — ovedosed last night on an entire make-believe bottle of placebos.
“I warned him not to let his imaginary friends near the pretend medicine cabinet,” said Melissa Tipton, the boy’s mother. “This whole thing feels so unreal.”
Doctors at the Illusory Medical Center discovered the fictional animal slipping in and out of Billy’s consciousness.
“We tried to examine the non-existent patient, but couldn’t find anything,” noted Dr. Whoozit, a general fictitioner. “We envisaged putting him on a realysis machine, but that would only prolong the invisible.”
Billy wished he could have thought Scabooboo back to life. “Do imaginary friends go to fictional heaven?” he wondered. “Is there an afterthought?”
Distraught, Billy spent the evening inside his head, thinking for himself. His mother attempted to coax him out with an unbelievable dinner, but he couldn’t imagine eating that night.
After having second thoughts, Billy dreamed up a new playmate. He tried picturing themselves having fun together, but to no avail.
“Another friendship,” he thought, “has vanished into thin air.”