JUNEAU, AK — Sniglet Palin, three-year-old daughter of former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, is scheduled to be thrown into Mt. Redoubt, a 10,197-foot active volcano 103 miles west of Anchorage, to please the fire gods.
“We’re not going to wait until she’s euthanized by some ‘Death Panel’ created under Obama’s evil healthcare plan,” said the former Republican Vice Presidential nominee. “If anyone is to take the life of a child, it should be the parents.”
The sacrifice, scheduled for Saturday at noon, will include prominent Republican politicians and donors. “We’ve asked Rush Limbaugh to say a little prayer to the gods before we toss little Sniglet to them,” said Palin, “so that the citizens of Alaska can be blessed with bountiful fishing.”
Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), has expressed his admiration for the Palin family. “The Obama healthcare plan would disallow families from sacrificing their own offspring to the gods of their choice,” he said in a CNN interview. “We don’t need government telling us how or when to snuff out our children; I trust the American people in figuring that out for themselves.”
Media access will be limited, with FOX NEWS expected to be the only broadcast outlet allowed to cover the event.