Hollywood’s Talent-Challenged Celebrate Life of Brittany Murphy

HOLLYWOOD — Scores of unsuccessful actors, bad writers, producers of B-movies and Gary Coleman gathered today at the Hollywood Forever cemetery to celebrate the life of the late Brittany Murphy.

“There has been a long history of discrimination in Hollywood against those without talent,” said reality star Kim Kardashian, “but Brittany came along and opened the door for everyone. She will be missed.”

“Many people know her for her breakout role in ‘Clueless,’” noted a former staff writer for America’s Funniest Home Videos, “but those of us gathered here will never forget her banal line deliveries in ‘Just Married,’ where her struggles to create witty banter with that guy from the Nikon commercials permeate every frame of film.”

“She broke barriers,” added Coleman, whose 1970s sitcom Different Strokes was the first to integrate aging showbiz professionals with untalented kids. “Starting with nothing but insurmountable luck, a few chance introductions and the randomness of the universe, she proved that anyone can make it.”

Coleman said he is not sure where Murphy will be interred, but the group chose to pay their respects at the Hollywood memorial park because it was the only cemetery to permit a screening of Murphy’s 1992 guest appearance on Parker Lewis Can’t  Lose.

The group last assembled at the funeral of pitchman Billy Mays.


  1. Willa says:

    Wow..what the hell. this is actually the most disrespectful article i have ever read. I’ve never considered myself a particular fan of Murphy’s but as a human being i can appreciate the way you respect a recently deceased public figure. There hasn’t been one positive comment left on this article yet and I hope it sheds light onto your conscience as you realize the lack of integrity this article had.

  2. Lily says:

    This is quite possibly the most repulsive, nauseating “news” article I have ever read. It takes a special kind of person to write an appalling article about someone who has passed away only a day ago. Your attempt at conveying interesting and unique information to your target audience, who ever they may be, has failed dramatically, and I am the first person to leave any comment, regardless of the content, on this month- old blog post. Brittany Murphy was the most amazing, genuine, nice, friendly, caring human being on this planet- someone whose standards you could never live up to. As well, needless to say, she was exceptionally talented and portrayed characters that only the best could adequately depict through film.

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