Bachmann, Tea Party to Assist Egyptian Protesters

Representative Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is leading a contingent of Tea Party activists on a trip to Cairo to offer their expertise to the hundreds of thousands of Egyptian citizens who have been rallying against their government for over a week.

WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — Representative Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is leading a contingent of Tea Party activists on a trip to Cairo to offer their expertise to the hundreds of thousands of Egyptian citizens who have been rallying against their government for over a week.

Once on the ground, the Tea Partiers are planning to help the protesters paint signs, devise catchy chants, and determine which of their despotic Egyptian leaders are Nazis and which are Communists.

“In our wildest imaginations, we never dreamed the Tea Party movement would spread worldwide,” said Bachmann, who recently gave voice to the extreme conservative organization in her response to President Obama’s State of the Union address.

“The Egyptian people do not want their government offering affordable healthcare for the sick or providing financial assistance for their unemployed fellow citizens any more than their American counterparts,” stated Bachmann. “Their dreams of living with smaller government, as well as the elimination of entitlement programs and Jews, are the same as ours.”

The Minnesota congresswoman noted other similarities between the United States and the 5000-year-old Middle-east republic. “Both of our countries flourished under slavery.”

Bachmann appeared Tuesday on Al Jezeera television, where she asserted that Hosni Mubarak is not really Egyptian and was actually born in Tel-Avi. “We encourage our Egyptian brothers and sisters to demand President Mubarak show his birth certificate,” she said, “and to start home-schooling their children.”

Bachmann and the Tea Partiers will touch down at Cairo International Airport on Sunday. “We chose Sunday,” she explained, “so we can attend a church service with our new Egyptian friends.”

Braddon Mendelson