Straight Man Likes to Act Gay

A pharmacist at a downtown Walgreens said he pretends to be a homosexual every now and then “just for fun.”

Straight man pretends to be gay

SAN FRANCISCO (TheSkunk.org) — Earl Robertson, 61, claimed on Tuesday that his occasional flirtatiousness with muscle-bound men and his festidiousness with fashion are all a put-on. Robertson, a pharmacist at a downtown Walgreens, said he pretends to be a homosexual every now and then “just for fun.”

“I’m straight as an arrow,” confessed Robertson. “But sometimes a male customer will come up to the counter and I’ll lock eyes with his crotch, just to see how he reacts.”

If that guest reacts favorably, Robertson will offer to have sex with him in the back room “just to see how long I can keep the ruse up.”

Although he has had sex with hundreds of men in the last thirty years — and finds the idea of making love to a woman repulsive — Robertson considers himself “110% heterosexual.”

“The only reason I have sex with men,” he said, “is for the enjoyment it brings me knowing my gay impersonations are really convincing.”

Acting gay is nothing but a hobby, according to Robertson, who considers himself to be the best “faux-mo” in the country.

“Each time I go down on a guy,” he added, “I joke to myself, ‘I’ve pulled another fast one.'”

Braddon Mendelson