It has just come to our attention that Thursday, June 14, was National Skunk Day, and we’re really pissed that nobody bothered to tell us. Of all the national holidays, this one is nearest and dearest to our hearts, and not one of you so much as lifted a finger to pick up the phone and let us know. So thanks for nothing.
We didn’t even know National Skunk Day existed. Were you intentionally keeping this from us, or is your mind so garbled, you just assumed we knew? So much for those “great communication skills” you list on your resume.
Although we are still greatly distraught that this magnificent event came and went, passing stealthfully under our radar, our distress is tempered with gratefulness to our fellow Americans who put this fine publication in high enough regard to honor it with its own celebration.
Of course, it doesn’t help that we missed it. I mean, what the f*** — why didn’t someone say something? We can only imagine the gaieties and merriments enjoyed by all who celebrated this festive occasion. While the rest of the country was out a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’ on National Skunk Day, while even the President, himself, was undoubtedly in the Rose Garden performing his annual “pardon of the skunk” ritual, those of us who actually work to produce TheSkunk.org were left completely in the dark.
Ironic, isn’t it?
Okay, here’s the deal: Next year, will somebody PLEASE remind us. Please, please, please, please! Send us a note, smoke signals — anything — at least two days in advance. Make it a priority to keep us in the loop. We would do the same for you if there were a special day honoring your worthless place of employment. If there were a “National Joe’s Fishery Day,” or a “National Domino’s Pizza Day,” or a “National Men’s Room Attendants Day,” we’d let you in on it. We hope you will extend the same couresty to us, when our day rolls around again next year.
So, we hope you all had a happy National Skunk Day, but please don’t let another one go by without telling us.