Mormons Attack New Zealand Embassy to Protest Broadway Musical

Mormon Protestors Seize New Zealand Embassy

WASHINGTON ( — An angry mob of Mormon activists broke through the gates of the New Zealand embassy Friday to demand the New Zealand government prevent any more performances of the Broadway smash hit “The Book of Mormon,” which they say insults their spiritual leader and church founder Joseph Smith.

The marauding Mormons kicked over bookshelves and trampled on the carpet in muddy shoes. They tied the ambassador to a chair with a pair of unwashed sacred Mormon underwear.  They yelled, “Scoundrels!” and other epithets at the staff, rebuking New Zealand imperialism and holding them responsible for producing the blasphemous musical.

The New Zealanders denied having anything to do with the highly offensive, Tony Award winning production. “The New Zealand government has absolutely nothing to do with this tasteless and sacrilegious play,” said the ambassador, “and while it’s true many of us Kiwis  have seen this hilarious and incredibly inventive show on more than one occasion, we do not agree with its content.”

But that was not good enough for the Mormons, many of whom believe there is a New Zealand conspiracy to rid the world of Mormonism. In an act of defiance, hundreds of Mormons gathered outside the complex, unbuttoned their collars and loosened their neckties.  “If you ridicule the prophet Joseph Smith,” said one young man, “it’s as if you’ve put a sign on your front door telling us not to ring your bell.”

A statement from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints denounced the bedlam, but encouraged its members to engage in peaceful demonstrations to protest the musical comedy, which is currently sold out through 2015.

Fellow Mormon Mitt Romney criticized President Obama for not cracking down on the unfair trade practices of New Zealand and for the bad taste he has in his mouth when he wakes up in the morning.

LDS officials have recalled dozens of missionaries from around the world and relocated them to New Zealand in attempt to quell the unrest by educating the population about their religion and converting the entire country to Mormonism.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, authors of the play that caused the firestorm – and co-creators of the over-the-top animated series South Park —  said they never intended to create hostility between New Zealand and Mormons, but fans can expect to see the situation spoofed in an upcoming episode.

“Mormons versus New Zealanders,” laughed Parker. “I don’t think we’ve done that yet.”