NEW YORK (TheSkunk.org) — Speaking to an enthusiastic Jewish congregation at Temple JoBeth Williams Saturday, Mitt Romney recalled fondly how he used to play the shofar in his high school marching band.
“I became so darn good at it,” said the Republican presidential candidate, “they used to ask me to perform solo at the annual St. Patrick’s Day dance.”
The shofar is a hollowed-out ram’s horn traditionally blown during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services — an ancient ritual carried down through hundreds of generations.
“The shofar is a fine Jewish instrument,” noted Romney, “much like a treasury bill or a derivative.”
Rabbi Mordechai Rothblatt, the congregation’s spiritual leader, presented Romney with a three-hundred-year-old hand-carved shofar and asked him if he would like to blow it at their upcoming Rosh Hashanah service. Romney hesitated, then declined. “Who in their right mind would put their lips around this ugly thing?”
He handed it back to the rabbi.
“Now, bagels – that’s a different story,” said Romney. “I’d be happy to take a box of those home to my family.”
“And make sure you throw in some of that cheesy white stuff,” he added. “It’s really good on grits.”