Apple to Manufacture iMacs in U.S. with Chinese Workers

CUPERTINO, CA ( — Apple CEO Tim Cook today announced plans to import 2,000 Chinese factory workers to begin assembling iMacs in the United States.

After being criticized for poor working conditions in their Chinese factories, Cook said his company took immediate action to provide the same poor working conditions “right here in the good ol’ U.S.A.”

“Apple is an iconic American company and our products should be made in America,” declared Cook. “Think of the pride we will have as our Chinese employees roll the first U.S. made iMac off the assembly line in 2013.”

Although Cook feels a patriotic duty to bring more manufacturing to the U.S., the move is not entirely altruistic.

Apple executives believe the economy has improved to the point where it has become financially advantageous to assemble the computers domestically, while continuing to employ the “economically efficient, non-complaining” Chinese laborers. 

“Instead of sending our manufacturing out to China,” explained Cook, “it makes much more sense to bring the Chinese into our country — where we can keep an eye on them and make sure they give us a full 15 hours every day.”

“Having these skilled professionals assemble computers right here in the United States is good for business,” he added, “even if we have to give them toilet breaks.”