New iPhone Hybrid Has Gasoline Engine That Kicks In When Power Dies

CUPERTINO, CA (TheSkunk.org) – Apple has announced the release of its new iPhone H hybrid, the first smart phone to include a gasoline engine that kicks in when the battery loses its charge.

CEO Tim Cook hailed the product as a technological breakthrough that will allows consumers to use their phones for up to 15 hours without fear of the dreaded “dead battery” icon interrupting their conversations or Words with Friends games.

Although the amount of time a battery will last between charges has increased dramatically over the last decade, Cook believes it will never catch up to the number of hours provided by the addition of an internal combustion engine.

“The iPhone backup engine will run on unleaded regular gasoline,” explained Cook, “and has been designed to limit carbon emissions to miniscule levels.”

When the battery runs out of juice completely after a couple of years, users no longer have to send it to Apple for a battery replacement, according to Cook, but can operate it exclusively on gasoline.

The iPhone H will be available for pre-order on October 1 for a December release – just in time for the holiday season.  A diesel version is expected to be released in 2014.

Braddon Mendelson