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CNN Speculates Missing Plane Could Be Anywhere

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ATLANTA (TheSkunk.org) — In its ongoing, continual coverage of the mystery of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 — which disappeared over two weeks ago — CNN journalists have concluded with “ninety-percent certainty” that the aircraft could be anywhere.

In a special report entitled “Flight 370: We Know It’s Somewhere,” CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer analyzed the satellite imagery that has come in from China and Australia. “I don’t know for sure what I’m looking at,” explained Blitzer.  “It’s hard to distinguish the white caps of the ocean waves from parts of an airplane or other debris, which could also appear as tiny white things.”

CNN aviation expert Ryan Blanforter agreed. “The ocean is wavy and everything is moving,” he said. “It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack, where the little pieces of hay are constantly bobbing up and down, or an object the size of a commercial airliner somewhere on the face of the Earth.”

“What we know so far is the plane can be anywhere,” declared Blitzer, “from the bottom of the southern Indian Ocean to the mountains of Pakistan to the jungles of Peru.”

The disappearance brings up more questions than answers, according to Blitzer. “If the plane did indeed fall from the sky,” he asked, “did gravity have something to do with it, or was it some other as-yet-unknown force?”

“We have no signs of anything on any country’s radar that it could have flown over the northern land areas,” said CNN reporter Fredericka Whitfield.  “On the other hand, the ocean searches have turned up nothing.”

Whitfield concluded the airplane is located somewhere either on land or sea.

“Although there’s just no way of telling where the plane is,” she said confidently, “based on the lack of information we have gathered to this point, we have determined that it could be anywhere.”

Blitzer added to the anywhere theory by speculating that the wind currents could have taken it in one direction and the ocean currents could have taken it in another direction, although “we don’t know what directions those currents were going at the time the plane may or may not have gone into the water.”

“Although investigators are not sure where it is, and they’re not sure what they’re looking for,” added Blitzer, “we can say with somewhat certainty that it’s somewhere.”

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