New York (TheSkunk.org) – Presidential candidate Donald Trump today clarified his position on illegal immigration, saying his plan to deport millions of undocumented immigrants would specifically exclude the ones currently employed by his various business enterprises.
“In all the time these illegal immigrants have been working for me, they have not raped or murdered anyone,” said Trump in an interview on NBC. “They are hard-working, cream-of-the-crop illegals.”
Trump claimed the undocumented workers he hires are more willing to help the billionaire increase his bottom line than the ones who are American citizens. “Can you believe it? These Mexican maids bust their butts in my hotels for pennies on the dollar,” he boasted. “And the gardeners and mechanics will accept even less, because working for Trump is enough compensation for them.”
He explained that his plan for deporting illegal immigrants would affect only the remaining eleven million who are not under his employ. Trump noted it would not be the only time he issues a directive favoring himself. “When I’m president, there will be a lot of other exemptions I make exclusively for the Trump Organization,” he said. “The American people love the idea of me giving myself special treatment under the law.”
“My illegals happen to be the best illegals in the world,” he added. “And to send them back to Mexico would be un-American.”