The 10 Greatest Jobs of 2012
As 2012 looms just around the corner, The Skunk is pleased to present its annual assessment of the ten greatest jobs of the new year.
Articles written by Editors, The Skunk
NRA Cites Rep. Giffords as Proof that ‘Guns Don’t Kill’
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org)– Representative Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ), who resigned from Congress today to continue
Cat’s Meow Doesn’t Wake Sleeping Family in Apt. Fire
VENICE, CA — Devon and Madeline Sutton died in an apartment fire Thursday, despite the cries of a three-year-old tabby cat who meowed vigorously. According
Romney Wants U.S. Tax Revenue Paid Directly to Him
MANCHESTER, N.H. — In a speech to a group of supporters, Mitt Romney today proposed that all U.S. tax revenue — approximately $2.2 trillion
All Those Niggahs
Joe and Alice Niggah, a middle-class, white couple from rural Kentucky, move their family into a house on a cul-de-sac in East Los Angeles, where they
Newt Gingrich Sues Satire Website
LOS ANGELES — Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich filed a libel lawsuit today against website The Skunk (www.TheSkunk.org),
Dog Travels 1400 Miles Back to Its Old Cage at Animal Shelter
ALTOONA, AL (TheSkunk.org) — A female cocker spaniel traveresed a thousand miles of unfamiliar terrain for six weeks to make her way back to her
More from this Author
Coca-Cola Puts Cocaine Back in Formula
ATLANTA (TheSkunk.org) — The Coca-Cola Company today announced the reintroduction of cocaine back into its popular soft drink after an absence of over a hundred years.
Local Wal-Mart Apologizes for Accidentally Carrying Hanukkah Wrapping Paper
FAIRHOPE, AL (TheSkunk.org) — Christian protestors expressed their outrage yesterday outside the Wal-Mart on County Road, after someone in their Church discovered Hanukkah wrapping paper for sale in a bin at the end of the Christmas aisle.
Chris Christie Vows to Keep Eating Until He’s ‘Bigger Than Taft’
TRENTON, NJ — Governor Chris Christie responded today to criticism of his obesity by announcing plans to continue expanding his waistline until he is “bigger and heavier than that fat fuck William Taft.”
Mitt Romney: ‘S Corporations are People with Spina Bifida’
GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney told students at the University of New Hampshire that “S corporations are people with spina bifida.”
Postal Service to Increase Efficiency by Sending Employee Paychecks in the Mail
The U.S. Postal Service today announced plans to increase speed and efficiency by sending postal worker paychecks through the mail.
‘Obama Is Serial Killer Whose Murderous Rampage Must Stop,’ Says Mitt Romney
DES MOINES, Iowa (TheSkunk.org) — GOP Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney today accused President Obama of being a psychopathic serial killer, whose trail of dead corpses has put our country’s financial system at risk of total collapse.
Did American Airlines act properly when it removed Alec Baldwin from a plane for not turning off his cell phone prior to take-off?
“It was completely wrong of the airline to treat Mr. Baldwin in this manner, and I blame the flight attendant for not knowing how big a star he is. You just don’t go around kicking big stars off of airplanes, no matter what.” –Alec Baldwin Famous Actor New York, NY
Herman Cain Suspends His Marriage
ATLANTA (TheSkunk.org) – Saying the bevy of “false accusations” against him have been hurtful to his wife and family, presidential candidate Herman Cain announced today the suspension of his 43-year marriage to Gloria Cain.
Bucking the System
Why is Rep. Howard P. “Buck” McKeon (R-CA), Chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, so vehemently opposed to cutting military spending?
Stray Dog: ‘I Mounted Herman Cain’s Leg’
ROANOAKE, TX — An abandoned golden retriever claims to have mounted Herman Cain’s legs on several occasions going back to 2005.
UCLA Blames Crushing 0-50 Loss on ‘Lousy Players’
LOS ANGELES (TheSkunk.org) — UCLA Coach Rick Neuheisel blamed Saturday night’s colossal 0-50 loss against rival USC on “lousy players.”
Explosion at Sugar Refinery Causes Carameltdown
SWEETWATER, TX — An explosion at a major sugar refinery occurred last night, as stunned employees stared on with glazed expressions.
Fox News Not Reporting on Study that Says Its Viewers Are Uninformed
NEW YORK — Fox News executives decided not to report the results of a new study by Fairleigh Dickinson University that concluded Fox viewers are less informed about current events than those who receive their news from other sources — or don’t receive any news at all.
Cat Forced to Vacuum Up Its Own Fur
SAN JOSE, CA (TheSkunk.org) — A short-haired calico cat was forced by its owners Thursday to vacuum up its own fur.
Should the Government Pay to Remove Crack Houses in Blighted Neighborhoods?
“To tear down a whole house just for a few minor repairs doesn’t make any sense. Wouldn’t it be money better spent to fill in the cracks of these otherwise inhabitable homes and give a pathetic street junkie a warm place to stay to do his drug deals?” – Brittany Headstrong, Pharmacist, Manhattan, KS
A.D.D. Explorer Forgets Location of Latest Discovery
An underwater explorer with attention deficit disorder discovered a legendary Spanish galleon, but forgot to record its location and can’t remember where he found it.
Cain Says He Will Take Dramatic 5‑Minute Pause Before Making Any Decisions
NASHUA, N.H. (TheSkunk.org) — Presidential hopeful Herman Cain defended the uncomfortable five minutes of silence he took trying to respond to a simple foreign policy question by claiming it was all part of his strategy to pause for five minutes before making any decision.
Temptation Alley
16-year-old Billy Jones discovers his family’s house is located behind a magical alley inhabited by magical women, all of whom are willing to have sex with him in exchange for money or heroine.
‘Occupy Earth’ Movement Baffles Authorities
LOS ANGELES — From Oakland to Paris, law enforcement agencies around the world are in a quandary figuring out how to deal with the new “Occupy Earth” movement.
If the Presidential Election Were Held Today, for Whom Would You Vote?
“Michele Bachmann, definitely. I look forward to at least four years of listening to her thoughtful discourse and well-reasoned policy positions. In addition, I feel she will do the most to ensure my future job security.” – Ben LaDroit Writer The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
