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Obama warns of ‘Axis of Buffoonery’

Obama warns of ‘Axis of Buffoonery’

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 25, 2009

President Obama today warned the world of the threat posed by leaders Hugo Chavez, Muammar al-Gaddafi and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, whom he referred to as the “Axis of Buffoonery,” after listening to speeches given

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Obama invites snipers to inauguration

Obama invites snipers to inauguration

By Editors, The Skunk • on January 16, 2009

WASHINGTON — Keeping with his message of inclusion, President-elect Barack Obama has invited a group of thirteen snipers from around the country to attend his inauguration. By request, the snipers will be seated in an undisclosed area, hidden from view of the large crowds expected to fill the National

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Blagojevich appoints penis to U.S. Senate

Blagojevich appoints penis to U.S. Senate

By Editors, The Skunk • on December 31, 2008

CHICAGO – Embattled Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has appointed his penis to fill the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama. “I am merely executing my duties under the Illinois state constitution,” said Blagojevich. “I hope the allegations against me won’t taint the

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Obama’s Senate Seat for Sale on eBay

Obama’s Senate Seat for Sale on eBay

By Editors, The Skunk • on December 12, 2008

SPRINGFIELD, IL — After the disclosure of Governor Blagojevich’s plan to accept a bribe in exchange for the senate seat vacated by Barack Obama, Ilinois state legislators decided to take the appointing powers out of the hands of the governor.  “We weren’t completely against

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Mormons Okay Gay Polygamy

Mormons Okay Gay Polygamy

By Editors, The Skunk • on November 8, 2008

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a compromise to the gay and lesbian community, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said it would be willing to amend the controversial Proposition 8 initiative to allow same-sex marriages with multiple spouses. “We feel this is a compromise that can end

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Mormons Teach Gay Marriage to Children

Mormons Teach Gay Marriage to Children

By Editors, The Skunk • on November 7, 2008

SACRAMENTO, CA — Over 10 million California grade school students have been introduced to the subject of same-sex marriage by repeated viewings of TV ads for California’s Gay Marriage Initiative, known as Proposition 8, which was funded largely by the Mormon Church. “I didn’t

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Racists Disappointed in Election Outcome

Racists Disappointed in Election Outcome

By Editors, The Skunk • on November 5, 2008

SCOURGE, AR — A gathering of racists at a local diner expressed their disappointment at the election of Barack Obama. Mechanic Alden Miremount said he was disillusioned as he watched his dream of an all-white America fade as the nation elected its first black president.  “We’ve worked

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Biden Tells Supporters Okay to Stay Home

Biden Tells Supporters Okay to Stay Home

By Editors, The Skunk • on November 2, 2008

PHILADELPHIA, PA — In the latest rhetorical gaffe for the Democratic vice-presidential candidate, Senator Joe Biden claimed victory for his ticket a full two days before the general elections. “Relax,” said Biden to supporters at a rally in front of Independence Hall, “we’re

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Palin Caught in Prank Jesus Call

Palin Caught in Prank Jesus Call

By Editors, The Skunk • on November 1, 2008

JUNEAU, AK — Former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin had a brief phone conversation with a man she believed was Jesus Christ, who promised to make her president in 2012.  The call was later revealed to be a prank. “The voice sounded like it could easily have been that of our lord

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Harassing Phone Calls Linked to McCain

Harassing Phone Calls Linked to McCain

By Editors, The Skunk • on November 1, 2008

PHOENIX, AZ — Backers of Senator Barack Obama have been receiving anonymous phone calls, assailing them with vulgar language and crude remarks.  The RNC and McCain campaign have denied any knowledge of the calls, but Senator Obama wants an investigation. Over two-hundred such calls, placed

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The Academy of Sarah Palin Lookalikes

The Academy of Sarah Palin Lookalikes

By Editors, The Skunk • on October 29, 2008

Ever wonder where all those Sarah Palin lookalikes come from?

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‘Plumber Joe’ Replaced by ‘Crack Whore Wanda’

‘Plumber Joe’ Replaced by ‘Crack Whore Wanda’

By Editors, The Skunk • on October 16, 2008

AKRON, OH — In a speech today, Senator McCain alluded to a young prostitute named Wanda he had recently met, who sells her body on street corners and dark alleyways.  “Wanda is a working, single mother, and shouldn’t have to pay increased taxes,” said McCain.  “I trust

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McCain’s Wife to Buy Votes, Spur Economy

McCain’s Wife to Buy Votes, Spur Economy

By Editors, The Skunk • on October 7, 2008

NEW YORK, NY — While taping a segment for the TV show, “The View,” John McCain announced a new economic plan, where citizens would be paid one-thousand dollars each to cast their vote for the senator. The money, distributed in newly printed one-hundred

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Gov. Palin to be Replaced with SNL’s Tina Fey

Gov. Palin to be Replaced with SNL’s Tina Fey

By Editors, The Skunk • on October 4, 2008

NEW YORK — In yet another stunning announcement from the McCain campaign, the Republican presidential nominee said that he will be replacing his vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, with Tina Fey, the writer-producer-actor who portrayed Palin in a  series of sketches on Saturday Night

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McCain Interviews Writers for Concession Speech

McCain Interviews Writers for Concession Speech

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 30, 2008

SEDONA, AZ — John McCain is currently seeking writers for his November 4th concession speech. “It’s important to the American people that a concession speech come across as sincere to the voters and contrite to his

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Russian Plans to Invade Alaskan Air Space Thwarted by Governor Palin

Russian Plans to Invade Alaskan Air Space Thwarted by Governor Palin

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 29, 2008

WASILLA, AK– A secret Russian military operation designed to fly President Putin through Alaskan airspace and return him safely to Moscow was thwarted by Governor Sarah Palin, when she went on a major American television network and revealed the plan.  “As Putin rears his head and comes

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Breaking News: McCain Asks to Suspend Election

Breaking News: McCain Asks to Suspend Election

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 24, 2008

NEW YORK — Republican John McCain said Wednesday he wants to postpone the 2008 presidential election in order to take time to study the economy, and he has called upon Barack Obama to join him in support of this idea. “In this precarious economic time,

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New McCain Strategy: I’m Blacker than Obama

New McCain Strategy: I’m Blacker than Obama

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 22, 2008

PHILADELPHIA — In a recent television ad, Senator McCain is shown addressing a group of African Americans, telling them that Obama is not half the black man he is. “Let’s not fall into the trap of judging blackness by the color of a man’s

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Bush appoints self for third term

Bush appoints self for third term

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 18, 2008

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move unprecedented in any previous administration, President Bush signed an executive order appointing himself president for a third term. Calling the November elections

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Pelosi on Palin: Way too Young

Pelosi on Palin: Way too Young

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 17, 2008

WASHINGTON — Representative Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives and second in line for the presidency, expressed her disappointment in the selection of Sarah Palin as the Republican VP candidate, saying that John McCain, 72, should have

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President Palin and the 3 AM Phone Call

President Palin and the 3 AM Phone Call

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 15, 2008

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Disorganized Community Seeks Return of Obama

Disorganized Community Seeks Return of Obama

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 14, 2008

POETS BEND, IL — “Bring back Barack!”  came the cries from this small town on the southside of Chicago, where, as a young man, Barack Obama once served as a community organizer. In the intervening years, however, this erstwhile well-kempt community,

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Lipstick-Wearing Pig Offended by McCain Comments

Lipstick-Wearing Pig Offended by McCain Comments

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 10, 2008

FAIRFAX, VA — John McCain accused Senator Obama today of making a disparaging reference to Gov. Sarah Palin by uttering the phrase “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” This offended Osco, a locally raised, lipstick-wearing pig

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Sarah Palin to Celebrate Election Victory by Getting Pregnant

Sarah Palin to Celebrate Election Victory by Getting Pregnant

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 9, 2008

LEBANON, Ohio — Gov. Sarah Palin expects to win the vice presidency of the United States, and when she does, her fist order of business is to get herself “in a family way” — again. “How wonderful it would be to conceive a child in the

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Hillary Voters Change Minds about Important Issues to Vote for Palin

Hillary Voters Change Minds about Important Issues to Vote for Palin

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 7, 2008

PHILADELPHIA, PA — A surprising BSN poll conducted this morning indicated that almost half of the women who supported Hillary Clinton in the primaries have dramatically changed their opinions on major liberal issues, just so they can vote for Republican Vice

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McCain Reenacts Crucifixion to Gain Evangelical Vote

McCain Reenacts Crucifixion to Gain Evangelical Vote

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 5, 2008

FLAGSTAFF, AZ — John McCain today had himself nailed to a huge wooden cross — with the exact dimensions as the one used for Jesus — in order to prove his devoutness to the still

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McCain Names Cheerleader Secretary of State

McCain Names Cheerleader Secretary of State

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 5, 2008

MINNEAPOLIS – On the tails of his controversial vice-presidential selection, Senator John McCain has made yet another startling announcement, this time telling an audience of steelworkers that 16-year-old Emma Rae Schurr of Bulls Gap, Tennessee will be his

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Psychic Predicts Complete Text of McCain Acceptance Speech

Psychic Predicts Complete Text of McCain Acceptance Speech

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 4, 2008

ST. PAUL, MN / SPECIAL TO THE SKUNK — The head psychic on staff at TheSkunk.org has peered into the mind of John McCain to obtain the highly guarded acceptance speech he will be delivering tonight at the Republican Convention.  What follows is the full speech, pieced together directly from Senator

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Palin’s three-year-old daughter pregnant

Palin’s three-year-old daughter pregnant

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 4, 2008

ST. PAUL — Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin has announced today that her three-year-old daughter, Sniglet, is four-months pregnant. “We’re very proud that Sniglet has chosen to keep the baby,” said Palin, “and prouder that she was able to do it without any

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McCain Gaining Ground with Lunatic Fringe

McCain Gaining Ground with Lunatic Fringe

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 2, 2008

MINNEAPOLIS — Sen. John McCain’s polling numbers have remained consistent over the last four months, with the exception of one category, The Lunatic Fringe, where he is steadily gaining ground. A recent BSN poll showed that McCain is winning the vote of

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