Mormons Okay Gay Polygamy

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a compromise to the gay and lesbian community, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said it would be willing to amend the controversial Proposition 8 initiative to allow same-sex marriages with multiple spouses.
“We feel this is a compromise that can end the controversy over Proposition 8 once and [...]

Mormons Teach Gay Marriage to Children

SACRAMENTO, CA — Over 10 million California grade school students have been introduced to the subject of same-sex marriage by repeated viewings of TV ads for California’s Gay Marriage Initiative, known as Proposition 8, which was funded largely by the Mormon Church.
“I didn’t know what being gay was,” said Timmy Schroeder, a third grader at [...]

Judges Disturbed by Rise of Activist Christians

FULLERTON, CA — At a rally Thursday, jurists from around the country expressed their dismay at the rise of what they call “Activist Christians.”
“Christians should follow the bible exactly as it is written,” said Judge James B. Coronado, ”and not try to interpret it for their own religious purposes.”
Judge Coronado is dismayed at the number of Christian ministers [...]

Court Orders Joe the Plumber Back to Anonymity

CLEVELAND — Joe the Plumber, the entrepreneur used as an example of an everyman by former presidential candidate John McCain, made it clear he wanted to extend his fifteen minutes of fame by persuing book deals and tv contracts, but a federal court today ordered him back to the recesses of anonymity.
Judge Barry Tipton said [...]

Racists Disappointed in Election Outcome

SCOURGE, AR — A gathering of racists at a local diner expressed their disappointment at the election of Barack Obama.
Mechanic Alden Miremount said he was disillusioned as he watched his dream of an all-white America fade as the nation elected its first black president.  “We’ve worked so hard for so many years,” said Miremount, “to deny liberty [...]

Lack of Education Linked to Stupidity

CHICAGO – Pioneering research suggests that stupidity is much higher among people who lack an education. 
Researchers tested 200 adults from all regions of the country, and found that the less education a person has received, the more likely he or she is to be stupid. 
The study is the first to demonstrate a conclusive link between lack [...]

McCain to Enslave Poor

SUPREMECY, OH — In a last-ditch-effort to present a solution to the nation’s ailing economy, Senator John McCain today disclosed a new plan to allow small businesses to utilize the country’s poor without having to compensate them.
“Small business is the backbone of America,” said McCain in a speech to the local Chamber of Commerce.  “Instead [...]

The Academy of Sarah Palin Lookalikes

Ever wonder where all those Sarah Palin lookalikes come from?

addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Ftheskunk.org%2F2008%2F10%2Fthe-academy-of-sarah-palin-lookalikes%2F’;
addthis_title = ‘The+Academy+of+Sarah+Palin+Lookalikes’;
addthis_pub = ”;

‘Plumber Joe’ Replaced by ‘Crack Whore Wanda’

AKRON, OH — In a speech today, Senator McCain alluded to a young prostitute named Wanda he had recently met, who sells her body on street corners and dark alleyways. “Wanda is a working, single mother, and shouldn’t have to pay increased taxes,” said McCain. “I trust her to do a better job with her own money than the government, but under Senator Obama’s tax policies, she wouldn’t have enough cash to pay her rent, compensate her pimp and purchase a supply of clean needles. “

Spielberg to Direct Unauthorized Biography of Himself

Paramount Pictures has announced that Steven Spielberg will be directing a feature film based on a soon-to-be-released unauthorized biography of the filmmaker. The renowned director has denounced the book upon which the script is based as a “work of complete fiction with false allegations and unattributed quotes.”