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Conan O’Brien offered 5-minute show on NBC

Conan O’Brien offered 5-minute show on NBC

By Editors, The Skunk • on January 22, 2010

BURBANK, CA — Conan O’Brien is being wooed back to NBC, this time with his very own five-minute show, to be aired nightly from 11:30 to 11:35 pm. Five Minutes with Conan is the brain child of NBC Universal President

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Haitians despondent over Simon Cowell departure from ‘Idol’

Haitians despondent over Simon Cowell departure from ‘Idol’

By Editors, The Skunk • on January 12, 2010

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti – Not even the shock of a 7.0 earthquake, which devastated this tiny island nation on Tuesday, could distract its inhabitants from the distraught that

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Hollywood’s talent-challenged celebrate life of Brittany Murphy

Hollywood’s talent-challenged celebrate life of Brittany Murphy

By Editors, The Skunk • on December 21, 2009

HOLLYWOOD, Ca — Scores of unsuccessful actors, bad writers, producers of B-movies and Gary Coleman gathered today at the Hollywood Forever cemetery to celebrate

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Bring a Little Jingle

Bring a Little Jingle

By Editors, The Skunk • on December 20, 2009

Celebrate Christmas with America’s favorite singing siblings, The Farbersons.

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World asks: Who the f*** are Jon and Kate?

World asks: Who the f*** are Jon and Kate?

By Editors, The Skunk • on November 18, 2009

Kate & Jon in happier times HOLLYWOOD, CA — Television personalities “Jon and Kate” are the most baffling celebrities in the history of the entertainment industry,

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Balloon man claims wife jammed inside cow rectum

Balloon man claims wife jammed inside cow rectum

By Editors, The Skunk • on October 27, 2009

FORT COLLINS, CO — Richard Heene, the self-proclaimed scientist who incited public outrage by deceiving authorities into believing his six-year-old son was aloft inside

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Polanski to direct film based on grand jury testimony

Polanski to direct film based on grand jury testimony

By Editors, The Skunk • on October 1, 2009

PYONGYANG — Roman Polanski plans to direct a motion picture based on the 1977 grand jury testimony that led to his indictment on rape charges. “The transcripts read like a Gothic romance novel,” said the 76-year-old director of Chinatown and Rosemary’s Baby. “It’s filled with sex, money,

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Eager young models await arrival of Polanski

Eager young models await arrival of Polanski

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 30, 2009

The pending extradition of Roman Polanksi to the United States has sent a wave of optimism over aspiring young models across America, eager to lose their virginity to

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Roman Polanski: ‘I thought she was 13-and-a-half’

Roman Polanski: ‘I thought she was 13-and-a-half’

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 28, 2009

ZURICH — Director Roman Polanski defended his 1977 rape of a 13-year-old model by expressing his belief that she was 13-and-a-half at the time. “She seemed much too mature for someone of her years,” wrote the 77-year-old auteur in a letter to the French film magazine, Cahiers du Cinema.

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Kanye thankful he didn’t go through with ‘entire’ plan

Kanye thankful he didn’t go through with ‘entire’ plan

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 15, 2009

HOLLYWOOD — Kanye West, still recovering from his embarrassing outburst at the Video Music Awards, is grateful he didn’t go through with everything he had originally planned. The former hip-hop star revealed today that his humbling VMA experience “pales in comparison” to the humiliation he

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Jackasses offended by comparison to Kanye

Jackasses offended by comparison to Kanye

By Editors, The Skunk • on September 15, 2009

CALIFORNIA — An off-the-record comment by President Obama calling Kanye West a “jackass” has been rebuffed by a herd of wild donkeys in the San Bernardino Mountains, east of Los Angeles. A representative for the jackasses

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French-American Man Hates Himself

French-American Man Hates Himself

By Editors, The Skunk • on August 24, 2009

SEATTLE — An arrogant French-American man expressed deep loathing for himself over the weekend. “I cannot stand my own stench,” declared Pierre Molyneux. “I never bathe

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Criminals urged to apprehend themselves

Criminals urged to apprehend themselves

By Editors, The Skunk • on August 18, 2009

LOS ANGELES — In an attempt to lower costs for law enforcement, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is asking lawbreakers to turn themselves in as part of his “Arrest Yourself” campaign. He spelled out details of the program at a press conference Tuesday.

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Advertisers slow down commercials for DVR users

Advertisers slow down commercials for DVR users

By Editors, The Skunk • on August 17, 2009

NEW YORK — Having gotten wise to viewers fast-forwarding through commercials on their DVRs, the advertising industry has decided to slow down all TV ads to 25% of normal speed. 

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Writers’ union to euthanize strike breakers

Writers’ union to euthanize strike breakers

By Editors, The Skunk • on August 12, 2009

LOS ANGELES — The Writers Guild of America, the collective bargaining organization for professional Hollywood screen and television writers, has published a list of three of its members who will

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‘lectronic Overload

‘lectronic Overload

By Editors, The Skunk • on August 10, 2009

iPhone got you down?  Internet keeping you up at night? Technology tiring you out?  You might have a case of ‘lectronic Overload. An original Music Video from TheSkunk.org. ‘lectronic Overload Written by Anne DeVenzio and Braddon Mendelson Performed by Anne DeVenzio Featuring Scott Douglas

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Katie Holmes to play Nicole Kidman in Cruise biopic

Katie Holmes to play Nicole Kidman in Cruise biopic

By Editors, The Skunk • on August 3, 2009

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Katie Holmes has been cast in the role of Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise’s first wife, in a biographical motion picture about the life of the leading man. “She wasn’t our first choice,” admitted director Chris Columbus, “but Tom wanted her to play Nicole and he was relentless

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Rush Limbaugh regrets not holding Michael Jackson

Rush Limbaugh regrets not holding Michael Jackson

By Editors, The Skunk • on July 28, 2009

NEW YORK — In his nationally syndicated radio program, Rush Limbaugh regretted not holding Michael Jackson in his arms before the pop idol passed away last month. The conservative talk show host said he had met the King

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New rules allow celebrities to die four at a time

New rules allow celebrities to die four at a time

By Editors, The Skunk • on July 23, 2009

New rules issued today make it okay for public figures to kick the bucket in groups of four. For years the rich and famous “departed this worldly plane” in groups of three, according to a press release from the Kharmic Fame Center. “That system had been adequate for the last several centuries,”

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Michael Jackson to be buried in little boy’s ass

Michael Jackson to be buried in little boy’s ass

By Editors, The Skunk • on July 22, 2009

ENCINO, CA — Pop icon Michael Jackson has proven to be as unconventional in death as he was in life. According to a Jackson family spokesperson, once the King of Pop’s remains are cremated, his ashes will be laid to

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Premature ejaculator gets second date

Premature ejaculator gets second date

By Editors, The Skunk • on July 8, 2009

PITTSBURGH – High school senior Sean Allwinter prematurely ejaculated in his pants last Friday while on a first date with classmate Brenda Hendricks. Now she has agreed to go out with him again. Brenda said the incident didn’t upset her at all, conluding that her leg “must have brushed

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Moviegoer unwilling to suspend his disbelief

Moviegoer unwilling to suspend his disbelief

By Editors, The Skunk • on July 6, 2009

SAN DIEGO — Collin McArthur has never enjoyed going to a movie because he finds the characters and stories on the screen completely unbelievable, calling the whole experience “just a big waste of time.” McArthur, 53, was born with a rare inability to submit himself to “the willing suspension

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Tito Jackson seeks to replace brother as ‘King of Pop’

Tito Jackson seeks to replace brother as ‘King of Pop’

By Editors, The Skunk • on July 3, 2009

LOS ANGELES — Tito Jackson declared himself the new King of Pop today, promising to fill the void in fans’ hearts left by the death of his superstar younger brother. “Of course, I never wanted my brother to die,” said Tito, “but I always thought — in the back of my

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Diahann Carroll and Leslie Uggams slighted in Jackson will

Diahann Carroll and Leslie Uggams slighted in Jackson will

By Editors, The Skunk • on July 2, 2009

HOLLYWOOD — Performers Diahann Carroll and Leslie Uggams expressed their indignation today at being excluded from Michael Jackson’s will. “We weren’t mentioned once,” said an incensed Diahann Carroll, whose career spans five decades in the television, film and music industries,

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Jackson’s black body also found dead

Jackson’s black body also found dead

By Editors, The Skunk • on July 1, 2009

LOS ANGELES – In a sad turn of events, the black body of Michael Jackson was found dead Wednesday, less than a week after his white one departed. The black body apparently died sometime in the 1980s.

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Madoff looks forward to life after prison

Madoff looks forward to life after prison

By Editors, The Skunk • on June 29, 2009

NEW YORK — Convicted financier Bernie Madoff, sentenced to 150 years for perpetrating the largest financial scam in history, remains optimistic about life after prison. “Once I’ve repaid my debt to society,” he told reporters,” I look forward to enjoying the world of the

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Bits of plastic found in backyard may be from Target

Bits of plastic found in backyard may be from Target

By Editors, The Skunk • on June 28, 2009

BILLINGS, MT — A Montana couple found bits of broken plastic buried on their property that appear to have been parts of disposable forks and knives from a retail Target store. Marv and Harriet Semipole were digging in their backyard, preparing the soil for their annual tomato planting, when they

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Plans intact for Michael Jackson to appear in concert

Plans intact for Michael Jackson to appear in concert

By Editors, The Skunk • on June 27, 2009

LONDON – Faced with the possibility of refunding $85 million in tickets sales, promoters for the concert series that Michael Jackson was preparing for at the time of his death have decided to honor the 750,000 pre-sold tickets and move forward with the shows.  Jackson’s “That Was It”

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Ayatollah accused of rigging ‘Iranian Idol’ contest

Ayatollah accused of rigging ‘Iranian Idol’ contest

By Editors, The Skunk • on June 26, 2009

TEHRAN — Iranian Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei has been accused of rigging the results of the popular TV competition “Iranian Idol.”  After singer Fazlullah Mehani amazed Iranian viewers during the season finale with his stirring rendition of “More than a Feeling,” fans

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Woman accused of changing husband’s Sleep Number

Woman accused of changing husband’s Sleep Number

By Editors, The Skunk • on May 31, 2009

DENVER — A Colorado woman was accused of changing her husband’s Sleep Number on the couple’s adjustable Select Comfort mattress.  Arlene Gimbleman had bought the king-size bed five years earlier as a gift for her spouse, whose lower back had been giving him problems since childhood. At

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