Section » Crime
Murder-Suicide attempt thwarted when suspect kills himself first
SEATTLE (TheSkunk.org) — The plans of a disgruntled accountant to kill his co-workers with a handgun and then take his own life were foiled Thursday, when the distraught and confused sociopath mistakenly pulled the trigger on himself first.
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Criminals urged to apprehend themselves
LOS ANGELES, CA — In an attempt to lower costs for law enforcement, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is asking lawbreakers to turn themselves in as part of his “Arrest Yourself” campaign. He spelled out details of the program at a press conference Tuesday.
Madoff looks forward to life after prison
NEW YORK — Convicted financier Bernie Madoff, sentenced to 150 years for perpetrating the largest financial scam in history, remains optimistic about life after prison.
Woman accused of changing husband’s ‘Sleep Number’
DENVER — A Colorado woman was accused of changing her husband’s Sleep Number on the couple’s adjustable Select Comfort mattress. Arlene Gimbleman had bought the king-size bed five years earlier as a gift for her spouse, whose lower back had been giving him problems since childhood.
Craigslist to create new section for stalkers, victims
SAN FRANCISCO — Craigslist officials announced today they will be adding a new category exclusively for Stalkers and Victims, in an attempt to make their Adult Services section safer for call girls, hookers and erotic masseuses.
Gunman targets online university
THE INTERNET — Armed with a single Xbox controller, an assailant went on a rampage at Allerman Online University, firing hundreds of virtual rounds at student avatars and targeting the school’s About page and interactive flash instructions.
University gunman misses everyone
BLOOMINGTON, IN — An armed gunman who went on a rampage at Indiana University on Thursday was unable to inflict injuries to anyone, despite firing hundreds of rounds into a crowded campus rally.
Obama approves sandwich-boarding
WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order today approving the use of “Sandwich Boarding” to extract information from suspected terrorists.
Somali pirates based on Disney movie, ride
HORN OF AFRICA — Referring to themselves as rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves, modern-day Somalian pirates have fashioned themselves after characters from Disney’s “Pirates of the Carribbean.”
Man ticketed for parking too long at meter
DENVER — A Colorado motorist was given a citation from a local law enforcement officer for leaving his car parked at a curbside meter several minutes after the time had expired.
New evidence of Kennedy conspiracy
Conspiracy theories have surrounded the Kennedy family for over forty years, so it was not too surprsing when researchers, at odds over whether Senator Ted Kennedy’s brain tumor originated from the back of his head or the top of his forehead, stirred up a new one..
