Education
High School Junior Cannot Stop Using the Word ‘Dude’
TEMPLE CITY, CA — High school junior Byron Carter has tried unsuccessfully for the last six months to utter a complete sentence that does not contain the word “dude” in it.
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Teachers Union Blames Low Scores on Dumb Students
A spokesperson for the National Education Association said the reason students are performing below par on national testing standards is because they are “really, really dumb.”
Glenn Beck Offered Professorship at Yeshiva University
Fox TV personality Glenn Beck has been offered a professorship at Yeshiva University.
What will he be teaching?
Pie Donations Down at Clown Colleges
Despite the growing need, donations of cream-filled pies are down 65% at clown colleges across the U.S.
Suicide Note Reveals Poor Grammar
RAMSDELL, MO — A suicide note left by a local man demonstrated a remarkably poor understanding of syntax and grammar, according to authorities.
