Section » Campaign Issues
McCain’s Wife to Buy Votes, Spur Economy
NEW YORK, NY — While taping a segment for the TV show, “The View,” John McCain announced a new economic plan, where citizens would be paid one-thousand dollars each to cast their vote for the senator. The money, distributed in newly printed one-hundred dollar bills, would be coming from private
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Bush Appoints Self for Third Term
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move unprecedented in any previous administration, President Bush signed an executive order appointing himself president for a third term. Calling the November elections
McCain Reenacts Crucifixion to Gain Evangelical Vote
FLAGSTAFF, AZ — John McCain today had himself nailed to a huge wooden cross — with the exact dimensions as the one used for Jesus — in order to prove his devoutness to the still
Obama Offers Clinton Cabinet Position
DENVER, CO - In a conciliatory gesture to his opponent, Senator Obama today reached out to Senator Clinton by offering her the cabinet position of “Secretary of Sewing,” which he said he created
John McCain Ad | War is Good
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Obama’s Pastor Damns Local Teacher
As a follow-up to his widely viewed performance on YouTube, where he instructed God to “Damn America,” Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Senator Obama’s controversial former pastor, is now seeking
McCain Designs New Logo for Obama
In a growing sign of good sportsmanship between the candidates, John
Deception Called in McCain Ads
The John McCain campaign is being accused of deception in its advertising,
McCain to Balance Budget with Nigerian Advance-Fee Plan
WASHINGTON, DC — Senator John McCain announced an unexpected windfall profit is headed our way and he will use it to pay off the national debt. “I received an urgent, photocopied letter from Doctor Willobee Ogu, the president of the Bank of Nigeria,
