HONOLULU (TheSkunk.org) — After an anonymous tip on Monday, authorities uncovered the remains of the investigators Donald Trump sent to Hawaii over five years ago to verify the birthplace of then-President Barack Obama. The bodies, whose identities were not released pending first-of-kin notifications, were discovered hidden deep beneath the Hawaiian shore. “[The investigators] have been […]
In a light night tweet, President-Elect Donald Trump yesterday said he would pardon comedian Bill Cosby, who faces prosecution on three counts of felony aggravated assault case from 2004.
President-Elect Donald Trump today announced he has appointed his youngest son, Barron Trump, 10, to serve as head of the newly created Department of Child Labor.
Manzanar, CA (TheSkunk.org) – In his latest speech on foreign policy, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump today announced his intention to refurbish the Japanese relocation camps originally authorized by Franklin Roosevelt in 1942. The camps were constructed to retain citizens of Japanese descent who were rounded-up during World War II, in order to calm a […]
NEW YORK (TheSkunk.org) – Residents of Trump Tower have signed a petition asking that Trump’s name be removed from the 58-story building. Although the famous skyscraper located at 725 Fifth Avenue is owned by Trump, himself, the petitioners have had no success in convincing their billionaire landlord to remove his name from the property, and […]
Justice Ginsburg Apologizes for Calling Trump ‘A Faker’; Says ‘Egomaniacal Shit Stain’ More Appropriate
Had she thought about it, explained Ginsburg, she would have referred to the Republican Presidential nominee as an “ego-maniacal shit stain” or a “puss-infused phlegm ball.”
Der Commander in Chief
COLUMBIA, SC (TheSkunk.org) — Claiming that he has a “knack for bringing the deceased back to life,” Donald Trump told a crowd of evangelical voters today that if elected, he will bring the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia back from the dead. Trump said this would put an end to the controversy as to […]
HUNTSVILLE, AR (TheSkunk.org) — FBI agents shut down an apparent terrorist plot to murder millions of innocent turkeys just prior to the American festival of Thanksgiving. The suspects were caught off-guard when over one-hundred FBI agents burst into what sources described as “an industrial food processing plant.” They were taken into custody after plans were […]
New York (TheSkunk.org) – Presidential candidate Donald Trump today clarified his position on illegal immigration, saying his plan to deport millions of undocumented immigrants would specifically exclude the ones currently employed by his various business enterprises. “In all the time these illegal immigrants have been working for me, they have not raped or murdered anyone,” […]