Polanski to Direct Film Based on Grand Jury Testimony
PYONGYANG — Roman Polanski plans to direct a motion picture based on the 1977 grand jury testimony that led to his indictment on rape charges.
PYONGYANG — Roman Polanski plans to direct a motion picture based on the 1977 grand jury testimony that led to his indictment on rape charges.
WASHINGTON – A man wearing a teakettle on his head stated his opposition to President Obama’s healthcare reform legislation Saturday during a Tea Party protest held at the nation’s capitol.
BOSTON — Using Legos and toy planes, a class of preschoolers re-created the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.
President Obama’s healthcare plan is a thinly veiled attempt to force all white people into slavery, according to conservative talk show host Glenn Beck.
SAN FRANCISCO — The same government investigator who failed to uncover the massive Ponzi scheme perpetrated by convicted Wall Street scammer Bernard Madoff, also neglected to notice the backyard sex prison operated by paroled rapist Phillip Garrido.
BOSTON — Over 68% of Americans don’t believe the official government story that Senator Edward Kennedy died from a brain tumor, according to a survey released today.
HONOLULU — Troubled by its reputation as a tropical paradise, Hawaii is on a quest to change its image with a series of commercials showing the depraved side of the Aloha State.
The National Rifle Association plans to distribute free handguns to seven million American school children in grades K-3 as part of their 2nd Amendment education program, “Bang Bang, it’s Your Right!”
NEW YORK — Having gotten wise to television viewers fast-forwarding through advertisements on their DVRs, advertisers have decided to slow down their commercials to 25% of normal speed.
In a recent opinion poll, consumers preferred the new Union Bank logo, a swollen red vagina, to Walmart’s yellow puckered anus, by a margin of two-to-one.