TORRANCE, CA (TheSkunk.org) — An underground water channel drilled into by the Sparkletts company burst open Saturday night, releasing millions of gallons of pure, crystal clear H2O into the oil reserves at the nearby ExxonMobil refinery.
WASILLA, AK — Sarah Palin submitted a proposal today to stop illegal immigration and the oil spill at the same time by using those who have entered this country unlawfully to form a giant “Mound of Mexicans,” large enough to plug the leak.
The oil-soaked body of the Twitter Bird, the iconic logo for the popular social networking site, was found on a beach in Louisiana on Friday.
PORT FOURCHON, LA (TheSkunk.org) — BP announced today it will spend $50 million to build a museum dedicated to the plants and animals that have become extinct as a result of the company’s disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.
In its latest attempt stop the unending flow of pressurized petroleum that has been spewing uncontrollably into the Gulf of Mexico, BP announced today it will inject 500 million bottles of Gas-X tablets into the well.
DES MOINES — BP informed the public on Wednesday that the millions of barrels of oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico were destined for a single gas station in Kimbalton, Iowa.
Vast amounts of mayonnaise continue to spill into Lake Michigan after an explosion at the Kraft Foods factory blasted a hole in a pipeline used to manufacture the sandwich spread.
A four-year-old Canada goose, who nearly died in a bird strike when his flock was vaporized in the engine of an Airbus A320-214 that crash-landed in the Hudson River in 2009, was found dead of oil poisoning on the Louisiana shoreline.
Arizona lawmakers today enacted legislation giving local police permission to lower thousands of 100-ton containers directly over the heads of suspected illegal immigrants.
VENICE, Louisiana – Saying it was her way of giving back to the American people for “allowing me to live my dream,” Oprah Winfrey has agreed to be lowered onto a broken oil pipe on the seafloor of the Gulf of Mexico that has been spewing thousands of barrels of toxic crude into the ocean on a daily basis.