White House Faces Foreclosure

A “Notice of Foreclosure Sale” was issued for the White House on Friday, informing the occupants they have 30 days to vacate the premises before it is sold at auction.
According to loan documents, the United States Government, listed as the owner of the property located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC., has been in default [...]

Mormons Teach Gay Marriage to Children

SACRAMENTO, CA — Over 10 million California grade school students have been introduced to the subject of same-sex marriage by repeated viewings of TV ads for California’s Gay Marriage Initiative, known as Proposition 8, which was funded largely by the Mormon Church.
“I didn’t know what being gay was,” said Timmy Schroeder, a third grader at [...]

Judges Disturbed by Rise of Activist Christians

FULLERTON, CA — At a rally Thursday, jurists from around the country expressed their dismay at the rise of what they call “Activist Christians.”
“Christians should follow the bible exactly as it is written,” said Judge James B. Coronado, ”and not try to interpret it for their own religious purposes.”
Judge Coronado is dismayed at the number of Christian ministers [...]

Post Office Adds Bush to Presidential Stamp Series

WASHINGTON, DC — The United States Post Office announced today that it will be adding the image of George W. Bush to its popular commemorative stamp series, entitled “Bad Presidents.”
The series of first-class postage stamps honors “those presidents who whose terms ended with the United States in domestic turmoil or international peril, with citizens facing [...]

Biden Tells Supporters Okay to Stay Home

PHILADELPHIA, PA — In the latest rhetorical gaffe for the Democratic vice-presidential candidate, Senator Joe Biden claimed victory for his ticket a full two days before the general elections.
“Relax,” said Biden to supporters at a rally in front of Independence Hall, “we’re ahead by ten points.  There’s no reason to sweat getting to the polls [...]

Harassing Phone Calls Linked to McCain

PHOENIX, AZ — Backers of Senator Barack Obama have been receiving anonymous phone calls, assailing them with vulgar language and crude remarks.  The RNC and McCain campaign have denied any knowledge of the calls, but Senator Obama wants an investigation.
Over two-hundred such calls, placed between the hours of 8:00 and 9:00 pm (CST), have been [...]

McCain to Enslave Poor

SUPREMECY, OH — In a last-ditch-effort to present a solution to the nation’s ailing economy, Senator John McCain today disclosed a new plan to allow small businesses to utilize the country’s poor without having to compensate them.
“Small business is the backbone of America,” said McCain in a speech to the local Chamber of Commerce.  “Instead [...]

The Academy of Sarah Palin Lookalikes

Ever wonder where all those Sarah Palin lookalikes come from?

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Gov. Palin to be Replaced with SNL’s Tina Fey

NEW YORK — In yet another stunning announcement from the McCain campaign, the Republican presidential nominee said that he will be replacing his vice presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, with Tina Fey, the writer-producer-actor who portrayed Palin in a  series of sketches on Saturday Night Live.
“Ms. Fey has all the charm and wit of Governor [...]

McCain Interviews Writers for Concession Speech

SEDONA, AZ — John McCain is currently seeking writers for his November 4th concession speech. “It’s important to the American people that a concession speech come across as sincere to the voters and contrite to his supporters,” said Senator McCain. “I’ll be selecting from some of the best writers in the country, and will start [...]