George Bush
White House Faces Foreclosure
A “Notice of Foreclosure Sale” was issued for the White House on Friday, informing the occupants they have 30 days to vacate the premises before it is sold at auction.
According to loan documents, the United States Government, listed as the owner of the property located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC., has been in default [...]
Bush Appoints Self for Third Term
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move unprecedented in any previous administration, President Bush signed an executive order appointing himself president for a third term.
Calling the November elections a “distraction from the serious work of the White House,” the president signed on for another four years, with “unlimited options to renew.”
As a result of the announcement, [...]
Bush Library: “Not in my Backyard”
WASHINGTON, DC — The creation of the George W. Bush Presidential Library hit yet another snag this week, when Montana refused to issue a building permit. This makes it the seventh state – after Utah, Oklahoma, Missouri, Virginia, West Virginia and Florida — to reject the President’s proposed home for his administration’s legacy.
“We couldn’t wait [...]
Cheney to Build Abu Ghraib Amusement Park
PHILADELPHIA, PA - After completing his final term in office, Vice President Dick Cheney plans to build a theme park inspired by the infamous Baghdad prison complex . Located just outside Philadelphia, not far from Independence Hall, Fifty Flags Over Abu Ghraib will be an entertaining tribute to the administration of President George W. Bush.
“Running [...]
Bush Shits on Constitution
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA — In a press conference last Friday, Dr. Lamont Dandle, head curator for the National Archives, announced that one of the remaining original, handwritten copies of the United States Constitution had been damaged beyond repair — and President Bush was to blame.
The document had been on loan to the White House, according [...]
Senators Seek to Legalize Bribery, Solicitation of Gay Sex
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senators Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) and Larry Craig (R-Idaho) have introduced legislation that would make it legal for elected officials to accept bribes and solicit gay prostitutes in public facilities.
The Senators introduced their legislation, S. 846772, the “Bribery and Gay Male Prostitute Legalization Act” last week and the bill is currently under consideration [...]
Bush Set to Attack “Life Forms” on Mars
NASA’s recent confirmation that water exists on Mars has the White House maneuvering in an offensive posture. Should scientists discover life on the red planet – including the tiniest microbes — President Bush said he is prepared to launch a preemptive attack with the “full force of the United States military.”
“Any bacteria found up there [...]
New Bush Advisor: Obama
Citing Barack Obama’s “wisdom beyond his years,” President Bush revealed today that he will be heeding the senator’s advice and counsel over the remaining months of his presidency.
According to a White House insider, the president watches every speech made by Senator Obama, whose televised appearances now rival old episodes of “The Dukes of Hazard” for [...]
Republican Scientists Claim Gravity a Scam
The Republican National Committee’s Scientific Advisory Board today issued a report negating claims of an “invisible force that pulls things toward the center of the Earth.”
“Sheer nonsense,” said the director of the board, Dr. Johann Brouhah, PhD. “Al Gore and his so called ‘Scientists’ are so sure that gravity exists, yet they completely ignore the [...]
Disgruntled Former White House Staffers Critical of Disgruntled Former White House Staffer
Disgruntled former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has come under fire from other disgruntled former White House staff members for his book, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception, which suggests that President Bush had purposely misled the public.
“How dare he accuse this administration of purposely lying to the American [...]
