Tennessee Man Receives Government Bailout
WASHINGTON — The Federal Reserve today announced it will be giving 14 billion dollars to Thomas Shale, a blue collar textile worker from Knoxville.
Skunk Nation
Bush Library: “Not in My backyard”
WASHINGTON, DC — The creation of the George W. Bush Presidential Library hit yet another snag this week, when Montana refused to issue a building permit. This makes it the seventh state – after Utah, Oklahoma, Missouri, Virginia, West Virginia and Florida — to reject the President’s proposed home for his administration’s legacy.
Statutory rape to be legal in Alaska
JUNEAU, AK — Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, the Republican Vice Presidential nominee, has proposed…
Cheney to Build Abu Ghraib Amusement Park
Dick Cheney plans to build a theme park inspired by the infamous Baghdad prison complex. Located just outside Philadelphia, not far from Independence Hall, Fifty Flags Over Abu Ghraib will be an entertaining tribute to the administration of President George W. Bush.
Bush Soils Constitution
In a press conference last Friday, Dr. Lamont Dandle, head curator for the National Archives, announced that one of the remaining original, handwritten copies of the United States Constitution had been damaged beyond repair — and President Bush was to blame.
Congress Outsources Workload to Malaysia
WASHINGTON, DC—The United States Congress is outsourcing its workload to a contactor in Malaysia, according to a report by the U.S. Government Accountability Office. Beginning this month, the laborious task of lawmaking will be sent to the Tengku Wan Consulting and Sewage Company in Kuala Lumpur.
Bill Clinton Kicks Reporter’s Ass
WEST PALM BEACH, FL — A reporter was nearly beaten to death last night after a confrontation with former president Bill Clinton, who was vacationing in the resort town with his family.
Disgruntled Former White House Staffers Critical of Disgruntled Former White House Staffer
Disgruntled former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has come under fire from other disgruntled former White House staff members for his book, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception, which suggests that President Bush had purposely misled the public.
Bush IQ: Mild Mental Retardation
WASHINGTON, DC — Researchers at the National Archives today uncovered a stack of the president’s…
McCain to Balance Budget with Nigerian Advance-Fee Plan
WASHINGTON, DC — Senator John McCain announced an unexpected windfall profit is headed our way and he will use it to pay off the national debt.
