Tuesday, February 7, 2012
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NRA Cites Rep. Giffords as Proof that ‘Guns Don’t Kill’
Doctor Makes Diagnoses Using Episodes of ‘House’
Herman Cain T-Shirt
Murdochs Make Offer to Acquire UK Parliament
New Predictions Follow Rapture Fizzle
Congressman Legalizes Pot for Himself
Gingrich Paid for Anal Bleachings with Government Funds
Shoes Thrown at Bush Send Message to Senator Craig
Surgeons Replace Man’s Severed Penis with his Big Toe
Bus Accident Causes Damage to Bus
Romney Campaign Uses Antisocial Media
NRA Cites Rep. Giffords as Proof that ‘Guns Don’t Kill’
Costa Concordia
Cat’s Meow Doesn’t Wake Sleeping Family in Apt. Fire
Romney Wants U.S. Tax Revenue Paid Directly to Him
SCRATCH 'N SNIFF
New Report: Patience No Longer a Virtue
Befuddled Somali Pirates Abandon Attack on Disney Cruise Ship
China Hiring Americans to Lay Railroad Track
Kardashians' Dead Father to Get Reality Show
Increase in Contract Killings Sign of Economic Recovery
BP to Build Museum Dedicated to Species It Destroyed
Travel Industry Encourages Poor to Take More Vacations
Disney Cigarettes Debut at Magic Kingdom
Wal-Mart Seeks to Hire its First Jew
Kellogg’s Orders Recall After Child Finds Toy Inside Cereal
Compulsive Masturbator Banned from Sperm Bank
Demolition Company Hiring Suicide Bombers
Man Gives Right Nut for a Beer
Americans Flee to Guatemala to Escape Bleak Job Market
Tell-All Book Trashes William Henry Harrison Administration
Booger Stem Cells Show Promise
Employment Up for Stupid People
Goodwill Bans Donations from Man with Bad Taste
Roman Polanski: 'I Thought She Was 13-and-a-Half'
New Pepsi Beverage Made from Tuna and Beans
Pie Donations Down at Clown Colleges
Tell-All Book Claims 'Onion' Articles Made-Up
Suicide Note Reveals Poor Grammar
Imaginary Friend ODs on Placebos
Hawaii Insists It’s 'No Paradise'
Criminals Urged to Apprehend Themselves
Congressman Legalizes Pot for Himself
North Korea Prepares to Launch Tinker Toys, Legos
Rush Limbaugh Regrets Not Holding Michael Jackson
13 Killed in Reenactment of Deadly Train Crash that Killed 13
McCain Wants Own Library Despite Never Being President
Dermatologist Repulsed by Teenager’s Zit
Termites Devour Dutch Shoe Factory; Fraud Suspected
Premature Ejaculator Gets Second Date
Moviegoer Unwilling to Suspend His Disbelief
Madoff Looks Forward to Life After Prison
GOP Elephant Switches Parties
Surgeons Replace Man's Severed Penis with his Big Toe
Ugly Girl Asks Rapist to Prom
Obama Approves Sandwich-Boarding
Cheney to Host Waterboarding Finals
Unemployment Soars Among Unemployment Office Workers
Jews Demote Madoff to Arab
Obama Wants Citizens to Print their Own Money
Vietnamese Judge Eats Champion Dog
Donald Trump to Purchase Hanoi Hilton
Republican Scientists Claim Gravity a Scam
Spielberg to Direct Unauthorized Biography of Himself
Congress Outsources Workload to Malaysia
Bill Clinton Kicks Reporter’s Ass
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