Filed Under: "death"
New Videotape Surfaces from Osama bin Laden
A new videotape surfaced today from Osama bin Laden.
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Disney Cigarettes Debut at Magic Kingdom
ANAHEIM, CA — Fans of Walt Disney will now have the opportunity to smoke the very same tobacco that took the life of their beloved hero. At a press conference held at Disneyland on Monday, Philip Morris International Inc. introduced “Uncle Walt’s Ciganeers,” a new line of cigarettes that
Imaginary Friend ODs on Placebos
Four-year-old Billy Tipton’s best friend — an imaginary owl named Scabooboo – ovedosed last night on an entire make-believe bottle of placebos. “I warned him not to let his imaginary friends near the pretend medicine cabinet,” said Melissa Tipton, the boy’s mother.
Rush Limbaugh Regrets Not Holding Michael Jackson
NEW YORK — In his nationally syndicated radio program, Rush Limbaugh regretted not holding Michael Jackson in his arms before the pop idol passed away last month. The conservative talk show host said he had met the King of Pop several years ago while traveling through California’s Central
Michael Jackson to be Buried in Little Boy’s Ass
ENCINO, CA — Pop icon Michael Jackson has proven to be as unconventional in death as he was in life. According to a Jackson family spokesperson, once the King of Pop’s remains are cremated, his ashes will be laid to rest deep inside the buttocks of a little boy. “It’s a place where Michael
13 Killed in Reenactment of Deadly Train Crash that Killed 13
FOGSHAFT, OR — A reenactment of a fatal train crash that killed 13 people last month resulted in the deaths of 13 people. “We took extraordinary efforts to faithfully re-create the conditions that resulted in the original crash,” said investigator Rollo Timms of the National Transportation
Tito Jackson Seeks to Replace Brother as ‘King of Pop’
LOS ANGELES — Tito Jackson declared himself the new King of Pop today, promising to fill the void in fans’ hearts left by the death of his superstar younger brother. “Of course, I never wanted my brother to die,” said Tito, “but I always thought — in the back of my
Diahann Carroll and Leslie Uggams Slighted in Jackson Will
HOLLYWOOD — Performers Diahann Carroll and Leslie Uggams expressed their indignation today at being excluded from Michael Jackson’s will. “We weren’t mentioned once,” said an incensed Diahann Carroll, whose career spans five decades in the television, film and music industries,
Jackson’s Black Body Also Found Dead
LOS ANGELES – In a sad turn of events, the black body of Michael Jackson was found dead Wednesday, less than a week after his white one departed. The black body apparently died sometime in the 1980s.
Shlockheads Mourn Loss of Pitchman Billy Mays
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Cases of OxiClean and the Handy Switch have been flying off the shelves in cities around the world, as distraught fans of the late Billy Mays try to hold onto a little bit of the departed pitchman’s magic. Mays was found dead in his Tampa, Florida home early Sunday Morning. The
Plans Intact for Michael Jackson to Appear in Concert
LONDON – Faced with the possibility of refunding $85 million in tickets sales, promoters for the concert series that Michael Jackson was preparing for at the time of his death have decided to honor the 750,000 pre-sold tickets and move forward with the shows. Jackson’s “That Was It” concert,
