Today is: Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Tag: kim jong-Ill

North Korea’s ‘Satellites at Bottom of Sea’ Program a Success

PYONGYANG — North Korea successfully launched another multi-million dollar piece of electronic crap to the floor of the Pacific Ocean Friday, the fourth in their “Satellites at the Bottom of the Sea” program. State run television proclaimed the event as “another example of the superiority of North Korean technology.”

“A minute after launch, the missile and its payload fell into the sea 165km west of Seoul, South Korea,” said the newscaster, “just as planned.”

The satellite, along with 20 pieces of the rocket, settled down on the sea floor “in the precise areas mapped out by our scientists.”

A parade down the streets of the capital city was organized by officials to celebrate the achievement. “We are so proud of our government,” said one citizen lined-up on the parade route, “ and the legacy of scientific greatness handed down by our beloved Kim Jong-Il to his son, Kim Jong-un.”

“How wonderful that our government has spent billions of dollars to send these satellites to the bottom of the ocean, where they will last forever as monuments to our great nation,” said another teary-eyed civilian, “rather than waste the money on food for our children, which will be gone as soon as it is eaten.”

The success of the satellite launch has prompted Kim Jong-un to promise to send a wider variety of useless technology into the sea, and has set a goal of plunging 5 million North Korean-built tablet computers into the ocean by November.