WASHINGTON, D.C. — North Korea is preparing to launch a missile armed with Tinker Toys and red Legos, according to the U.S. State Department.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said that reconnaissance satellite images have provided the United States and its allies with irrefutable evidence of the toy build-up.
“North Korean workers are assembling thousands of the little wooden wheels with green dowels sticking out of them,” said Clinton. “They’re installing them as payload in their missile delivery systems as we speak.”
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il has threatened to fire the Tinker Toys at the United States if the U.S. continues to blockade shipments of Lincoln Logs destined to the communist regime.
The Obama administration reiterated its position that Lincoln Logs will not make their way onto North Korean soil unless Jong Il reverses his nuclear ambitions.
Secretary of Defense Robert Gates said he doubts the Tinker Toys could make it farther than fifty yards off the Korean peninsula, but the Legos could pose a serious threat to Hawaii.
“Fifty-million red Lego blocks landing in Pearl Harbor is unacceptable,” said Gates. “That’s why the U.S. Navy has begun to stockpile its Pacific fleet with suction-cup darts and spring-loaded Nerf guns as a precautionary measure.”