Skunk Tag: unemployment
Senator wants nation’s jobless to be his servants
WASHINGTON — After blocking passage of a jobless benefits bill, Senator Jim Bunning (R-KY) announced today he will compensate the nation’s unemployed by offering them non-paid positions as his personal servants. “They should consider it an internship,”
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Americans flee to Guatemala to escape bleak job market
GUATEMALA CITY — John Wilson holds a PhD in physics and has worked in the aerospace industry for over thirty years. Today he is selling cheese-stuffed pupusas —
Employment up for stupid people
WASHINGTON — Employment among imbeciles and morons rose 10% in the 2nd quarter of 2009, according to a new report released today by the U.S. Bureau of Statistics. In
Unemployment soars among unemployment office workers
SACRAMENTO — The California Employment Development Department (EDD), the agency responsible for distributing unemployment benefits to millions of the state’s laid-off employees, has itself begun laying off thousands of its own staff members. “It happened so sudden,” said
White House touts double-digit employment
WASHINGTON, DC — A new report from the White House indicates that 93% of Americans currently have jobs, superseding previous accounts from the Bureau of Labor Statistics that 7% were out of work. “In only two weeks, we have gone from 7% unemployment to 93% employment,” said Speaker
