Trump to Weiner: 'Show Us Your Real Penis'

NEW YORK (TheSkunk.org) — Donald Trump asserted today that a photograph supposedly depicting Rep. Anthony Weiner’s erect manhood that has been circulating on the Internet is not legitimate, and he demands the congressman immediately disclose his real penis to the American people.

“What Representative Weiner has released to the public is not his penis,” asserted the millionaire real estate tycoon. “It’s a generic, photographic representation that could have been digitally altered by anyone.”

Trump contends the existence of the photo “doesn’t prove anything.”

“The American people have been asking to see his penis for years,” he said, “and just now he releases these unverified images? I don’t buy it.”

Trump said he has paid for an investigation into the matter. “I have top investigators looking into this. So far, they have been unable to locate his real penis, and they tell me that nobody has actually ever seen it. He might not even have a penis. I’m not saying he doesn’t, but if he does, then he should just show it to us.”

A staffer in Weiner’s office said the congressman released the photographs on his Twitter account to “end speculation and provide proof of his penis.”

Yet the conspiracy theories fly fast and furious in the cyber world. Many bloggers have concluded there is a conspiracy to mislead the American public into accepting the Twitter photos as authentic. The “Penisers” have called on the congressman to disclose his penis, and Trump agrees.

“The guy should just produce his penis,” he said, “and this will all be over with. Let us see the shaft, the balls, the scrotum hair, the whole works, and we can get back to the real problems Americans face every day — like which of my golf course parking lots is large enough to accommodate their private jet.

According to Trump, if Weiner cannot produce physical evidence of the existence of his penis, he should resign from Congress.

“What does he have to hide?” asked Trump, who claims that hundreds of people have seen his own penis, which, according to the NBC reality star, “happens to be one of the world’s greatest penises.”

“People call out to me on the streets every day asking to see my penis,” he added, “and I just show it to them.”