Trump Dump

All About The Donald: A Dude So Awesome and Powerful, He Gets His Own Section

Trump to Build His Own Prison

New York ( —- President Donald Trump will be building the federal prison facility where he plans to reside with his family in about nine to ten months. “America has the worse prisons anywhere in the world,” noted Trump in an early morning tweet, just hours after special prosecutor Robert Mueller began intensifying the investigation […]

Trump’s Hawaiian Investigators Found Dead

HONOLULU ( — After an anonymous tip on Monday, authorities uncovered the remains of the investigators Donald Trump sent to Hawaii over five years ago to verify the birthplace of then-President Barack Obama. The bodies, whose identities were not released pending first-of-kin notifications, were discovered hidden deep beneath the Hawaiian shore. “[The investigators] have been […]

Trump to Pardon Bill Cosby

In a light night tweet, President-Elect Donald Trump yesterday said he would pardon comedian Bill Cosby, who faces prosecution on three counts of felony aggravated assault case from 2004.

Barron Trump to Serve as Secretary of Child Labor

President-Elect Donald Trump today announced he has appointed his youngest son, Barron Trump, 10, to serve as head of the newly created Department of Child Labor.

Trump to Re-Open U.S. Internment Camps; Will Make Japan Pay for It

Manzanar, CA ( – In his latest speech on foreign policy, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump today announced his intention to refurbish the Japanese relocation camps originally authorized by Franklin Roosevelt in 1942. The camps were constructed to retain citizens of Japanese descent who were rounded-up during World War II, in order to calm a […]

Tenants of Trump Tower Petition for Name Change

NEW YORK ( – Residents of Trump Tower have signed a petition asking that Trump’s name be removed from the 58-story building. Although the famous skyscraper located at 725 Fifth Avenue is owned by Trump, himself, the petitioners have had no success in convincing their billionaire landlord to remove his name from the property, and […]

Justice Ginsburg Apologizes for Calling Trump ‘A Faker’; Says ‘Egomaniacal Shit Stain’ More Appropriate

Had she thought about it, explained Ginsburg, she would have referred to the Republican Presidential nominee as an “ego-maniacal shit stain” or a “puss-infused phlegm ball.”

Mein Trumpf

Mein Trumpf

Der Commander in Chief

Trump Vows to Bring Scalia Back from the Dead

COLUMBIA, SC ( — Claiming that he has a “knack for bringing the deceased back to life,” Donald Trump told a crowd of evangelical voters today that if elected, he will bring the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia back from the dead. Trump said this would put an end to the controversy as to […]

Trump’s Plan to Deport Illegals Would Exclude the Ones Working for Him

trump's illegal immigrants

New York ( – Presidential candidate Donald Trump today clarified his position on illegal immigration, saying his plan to deport millions of undocumented immigrants would specifically exclude the ones currently employed by his various business enterprises. “In all the time these illegal immigrants have been working for me, they have not raped or murdered anyone,” […]