EPA to Allow Feces in Drinking Water

WASHINGTON ( — Beginning Monday, water from your sink faucet may have a familiar odor to it – but not one normally associated with the kitchen tap. Calling the prohibition against feces in drinking water “over-regulation run amok,” Environmental Protection Agency Chief Scott Pruitt today ordered his department to stop enforcing it. “It’s not the […]

GOP Alternative to Obamacare: Insurance by Skin Color

WASHINGTON ( – Conservative think tank The Heritage Foundation proposed on Monday a system of healthcare that would base insurance rates on the color of a person’s skin.  Heritage CEO Jim DeMint described the program as “the perfect antidote to Obamacare. “ “Very simply, the nearer your skin color is to God’s preferred Lilly White,” […]

Congressional Hearing Reveals Millions Have Trouble Signing Up for Death Panels

WASHINGTON ( — In yet another blow to the launch of the Affordable Care Act, users who tried to sign up for death panel benefits experienced delays and error messages, according to testimony delivered before the House Ways and Means Committee Tuesday.  Medicare chief Marilyn Tavenner told lawmakers that over 70 thousand applicants were unable […]

Dr. Murray to Open Celebrity Sleep Clinic

Beverly Hills ( — Dr. Conrad Murray, the former personal physician to the late pop icon Michael Jackson, plans to open a new medical clinic specializing in the treatment of sleep disorders, which he says would cater primarily to an upscale celebrity clientele. Murray claimed that despite being convicted of murdering Jackson and subsequently spending […]

Ketchup Linked to Lower Risk of Death

Ketchup Adds Years to Life

Researchers found that habitual ketchup users had a lower risk of death than their snobby, elitist counterparts. Subjects who went through four or five bottles per week lived the longest.

Doctor Makes Diagnoses Using Episodes of 'House'

Real-life doctor turns to House for advice.

A prominent physician turns to the Fox medical drama “House” to help diagnose his most difficult cases.

New Report: Patience No Longer a Virtue

ARLINGTON, VA ( — After reviewing the results of a nationwide study, the American Psychiatric Association has removed “patience” from its list of virtues in the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Heterosexual Couple to Adopt Gay Baby

Couple to adopy gay baby

TRENTON, NJ ( — Unable to conceive their own homosexual child, a straight married couple is seeking to adopt a gay baby, according to state authorities.

Booger Stem Cells Show Promise

SANTA CLARITA, CA — Researchers at College of the Canyons have released results to a study suggesting that human boogers may contain stem cells with similar regenerative qualities to those of embryos.

Public Doubts ‘Official’ Account of Kennedy Death

Tedd Kennedy

BOSTON — Over 68% of Americans don’t believe the official government story that Senator Edward Kennedy died from a brain tumor, according to a survey released today.