Newt Gingrich Sues Satire Website

LOS ANGELES — Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich filed a libel lawsuit today against website The Skunk (www.TheSkunk.org), claiming the satirical publication defamed his reputation in an article from last April titled “Gingrich Paid for Anal Bleachings with Government Funds.”

“To say that I, in any way, mishandled money that was entrusted to me by the American people is just an outright lie,” declared the former Speaker of the House. “The accusation that I would dip into public funds for my personal use is scurrilous and besmirches my good name.”

The suit claims the article unfairly presents Gingrich as “untrustworthy and irresponsible with other people’s money,” a portrayal Gingrich vehemently denies.

“I would  never use government funds for anything other than government business,” said Gingrich. “Period. End of story.”

Gingrich said that people who have worked with him know he would never take money that didn’t belong to him. “I’ve been called a lot of things,” he said. “But I’m not a thief.”

A spokesperson for The Skunk declined to comment, saying the article speaks for itself.

“I don’t know where this online publication gets its information,” added Gingrich. “It seems they either make it up, or pull it out of their lily-white ass.”