Romney Asks Nation to Decide What He Should Believe In

PITTSBURGH, PA (TheSkunk.org) — Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney told supporters Monday that if elected president, he would poll the whole country on what his opinions should be before he expresses them.

Romney, who has been called out by the media in recent months for changing his previously held positions so they align with whatever special interest group he’s courting at the moment, proposed holding special nationwide elections every few days or so, to see what the majority of Americans would like him to think.

Romney rejects the notion he is a “flip-flopper” who changes his views on almost every important issue of the day, from the economy to heath care to foreign affairs.

“It’s not flip-flopping to change your opinion to get votes,” he said, “it’s the first rule of any successful business: find out what the customer wants to hear, and then regurgitate it back to them.”

Romney said he hopes to be known as the nation’s first regurgitating president. “Instead of trying to guess what the voters want, I’m simply going to regurgitate.”

According to Romney, by taking positions that reflect those of the majority and making them his own, average Americans will start accepting him as “one of them.”

“If elected president,” he said, “I will carefully consider the responses given by the pubilc on these various issues to better understand the problems and concerns of the American people.”

“And then,” he added, “I’ll regurgitate.”