US Airways Sues Sullenberger for Loss of Plane

Justice for the Airlines

DANVILLE, CA — Captain Chelsey “Sully” Sullenberger, the airline pilot praised as a hero for safely landing Flight 1549 into the Hudson River, is being sued by US Airways for damaging the plane, an Airbus 320, beyond repair.

The lawsuit contends gross negligence by “intentionally landing a commercial aircraft in water.”  The plane has been deemed a total loss.

This pilot destroyed our property,” said a US Airways spokesperson, “and we expect full compensation.”

Attorneys for Sullenberger said their client was merely trying to save the lives of not only the passengers and crew on board the plane, but of thousands of residents of New York. “Captain Sullenberger has devoted his life to aviation, and would never intentionally cause damage to an aircraft of any kind.”

“He should have thought of that before ramming the engines into a flock of birds,” responded the spokesperson, who said they are appealing to the FAA to revoke Sullenberger’s license. “The guy is reckless; I wouldn’t want him piloting a plane I was on.”

US Airways has also filed suit against all 150 passengers for “irreparable damages to the wings caused by walking on them.”