House Votes to Extend Hatred of Obama for Six Months

WASHINGTON (Skunk Nation) — In a vote that was strictly along party lines, Congress approved legislation this morning that would extend the GOP’s hatred of President Obama for another six months.

“Our party is united as never before,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor. “We share the same vision for a future where we continue hating President Obama with passion and intensity.”

House Speaker John Boehner expressed his disappointment that not a single Democrat voted for the legislation, known as H.R. 43, the “Extension to Hatred of President Obama Act.”

“This goes to show you how partisan the other side of the aisle is,” Boehner said at a press conference earlier in the day. “Their unwillingness to hate President Obama speaks volumes for where they want to take this country.”

The bill originally set the time table for hating Obama all the way to the end of 2012, just past the next presidential elections, but according to Boehner, “We felt it was important to let the American people know that we still hate him in another six months.”

There is some speculation the real reason for changing the time period was to appease freshmen Tea Party members of Congress, who proposed their own, more radical bill, the “Detestation of the Negro in the White House Act,” sponsored by Rep. Allen West, Florida’s first black GOP Congressman since the nineteenth century. But West insisted this document was his personal manifesto, and not intended for a vote on the House floor.

Republican leaders have hailed passage of the “Hate Obama” bill as a major step forward  in their hatred of the President.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell demanded to have a full Senate vote within 24-hours, saying it would be “the single most important piece of legislation passed by this body in the last 200 years.”

“What we really need is to change the Constitution,” noted McConnell, who said he plans to introduce the “Hate Obama Amendment” later in the summer. “It’s the only way for everyone to agree we all hate Obama, without bringing it up for a vote every six months.”

With the Democrats holding the majority in the Senate, however, it is unlikely the legislation would pass the upper chamber. Even if it did make it through the Senate, Obama has threatened to veto it, unless a provision is included that would require the Tea Party members to “Shut the Fuck Up.”

“Before I approve legislation expressing hatred of myself,” added the President, “I need to make sure it’s fair and balanced on both sides.”