WASHINGTON, DC — The Republican National Committee announced today it was in preliminary talks with the American Nazi Party to merge into a single cohesive entity, to be known simply as “Extreme Nazis.”
“The new party would embrace our common bonds,” said Ed DeLampurdoe, Vice-Chairman of the RNC, “such as family values, lower taxes, and a profound dislike for those who are not us.”
DeLampurdoe said that many of their shared issues, such as “the Jewish problem,” would be easier to handle once the two parties join forces.
Conservative commentator Pat Buchanan forcefully denounced the idea, saying that the Republicans are perfectly able to deal with the Jews on their own. “We don’t need those Nazi bastards to warn us of the Jews,” said Buchanan. “We have Ann Coulter.”
The merger would be “quick and easy,” according to American Nazi Grand Emperor, Jimmy-Boy Parker-Doyle. “The majority of Republicans already subscribe to our newsletter,” he said. “They won’t have to change nothin’ but their letterhead.”
Conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh hailed the merger, calling it “the first step on the road to victory in 2012.”