CLEVELAND, OH (TheSkunk.org) — With less than two weeks remaining until the presidential election, a new survey today of undecided voters found that either 60% or 75% or 32% of them were drawn toward Mitt Romney, because of the kinship they feel with the former Massachusetts Governor’s history of flip-flops, indecisiveness and fluctuating opinions.
“They say he can’t relate to people, but I disagree,” said Helen Fallbee, a self-described “housewife with ADD” from Toledo, Ohio. “Mitt knows what it’s like to really, really want to buy that red dress, but end up buying the blue one, only to come home and regret not buying the purple one – but telling everyone you wanted the blue one all along.”
“People call me a professional student,” explained 38-year-old Malcolm Teth, an undergrad from Chicago, “but the truth is, I just haven’t made up my mind on the subject – or subjects — that are the right one — or ones – for me to study. Sometimes, I like to hang around various other universities just to see what I’m missing.”
Walmart clerk Jan Alwin agreed. “Obama seems too focused and goal-oriented to really get me,” said Alwin. “At least, he seemed that way when I saw him on TV this morning – I mean, I think that’s the vibe I got from him. I’m not really sure, now. Mitt Romney would understand.”
Although these undecided voters have hinted they might be voting for Mitt Romney, only one of them has made a semi-firm commitment.
“I’m taking a possible stand,” declared Fallbee. “On election day I will probably, very likely – I’m pretty confident, at least at this very moment — be voting for Governor Mitt Romney.”
“That is,” she added, “unless I end up voting for Obama.”