Cats No Longer Considered Mammals

PRAGUE  ( – “Down with Cats!” was the cry from a group of renowned animal scientists meeting in the Czech Republic on Sunday. An overwhelming majority of animal researchers decided that cats do not qualify to be categorized as “mammals.”  In a vote by the attendees at the Annual Congress of Zoologists, common house cats […]

Wishing You a Benevolent Skunk Day

Happy Skunk Day!  I bet most of you didn’t even know this was a holiday. That’s right, it’s National Skunk Day again, and boy, do we have a lot to celebrate. Of course, it’s a day to honor those little varmints who lend their name to this very publication:  those affection little black-and-white critters who […]

Spider Accuses Homeowners of Using Chemical Weapons

LOS ANGELES ( — A black widow spider residing at the 3700 block of Elm Street has issued a formal protest against homeowners Mr. and Mrs. Nelson for using deadly chemicals to exterminate hundreds of innocent arachnids. “The international community should be united in opposition to these despotic killers and their weapons of mass destruction,” […]

Donkey-Zebra Sex Outlawed in North Carolina

Raleigh, NC ( –The Republican controlled legislature today passed a bill banning donkeys from having sex with zebras. The “Zonkey Prohibition Act of 2014” sets the maximum penalty at life imprisonment for violators. The legislation comes on the heels of the recent birth of a zonkey named Ippo – the offspring of a male donkey […]

A Belated Happy National Skunk Day

The Skunk Logo

As inconceivable as it seems, we completely missed National Skunk Day — and it’s all your fault!

Cat’s Meow Doesn't Wake Sleeping Family in Apt. Fire

Cat Meows During Fire

VENICE, CA — Devon and Madeline Sutton died in an apartment fire Thursday, despite the cries of a three-year-old tabby cat who meowed vigorously.

Dog Travels 1400 Miles Back to Its Old Cage at Animal Shelter

Dogs Finds Its Way Back to Animal Shelter

ALTOONA, AL ( — A female cocker spaniel traveresed a thousand miles of unfamiliar terrain for six weeks to make her way back to her old cage at the Etowah County Animal Shelter.

Stray Dog: 'I Mounted Herman Cain's Leg'

Herman Cain Accuser

ROANOAKE, TX — An abandoned golden retriever claims to have mounted Herman Cain’s legs on several occasions going back to 2005.

Cat Forced to Vacuum Up Its Own Fur

Cat Forced to Vacuum Up Its Own Fur

SAN JOSE, CA ( — A short-haired calico cat was forced by its owners Thursday to vacuum up its own fur.

Deer Caught in Headlights, Unable to Move

Deer Caught in Headlights

Despite ample opportunity to run to the side of the road, the animal apparently became paralyzed, allowing the two-and-a-half-ton Ford 150 to slam into it at 60 mph.