Donkey-Zebra Sex Outlawed in North Carolina

Raleigh, NC ( –The Republican controlled legislature today passed a bill banning donkeys from having sex with zebras. The “Zonkey Prohibition Act of 2014” sets the maximum penalty at life imprisonment for violators.

The legislation comes on the heels of the recent birth of a zonkey named Ippo – the offspring of a male donkey and female zebra — at an animal preserve in Italy.

Governor Pat McCrory said he was eager to sign the bill into law

“This form of bestiality shall not be tolerated in our great state,” declared McCrory.  “I’m thankful not to live in one of those godless, socialist countries, where such abominations are accepted as normal. ”

The law affirms that sex in North Carolina is legal only when consummated between two animals of the same species.

“Allowing donkeys and zebras to fornicate,” noted McCrory, “will weaken traditional donkey-on-donkey and zebra-on-zebra sex.”

“This doesn’t mean they can’t carry on in platonic relationships with one another,” he added. “But they need to save the kissing and the humping for their own kind, or face the consequences.”