December 19, 2024

Palin Fans Can't Read Book

FORKS BEND, KY – Some fans of Sarah Palin were disappointed with the former Alaska Governor’s best seller, “Going Rogue,” when they realized they were unable to decipher its contents.

FORKS BEND, KY – Some fans of Sarah Palin were disappointed with the former Alaska Governor’s best seller, “Going Rogue,” when they realized they were unable to decipher its contents.

“Quite, frankly, I thought there’d be more pictures in it,” explained Riley Bartod, head of the Palin 2012 Campaign committee in Louisville. “It’s a kind of big book not to have some kind of purty designs inside, dontcha think?”

His wife Molly agreed. “It’s lovely how she put those little black squiggly marks on all them pages,” she noted, “but nobody around here can figure out what in the heck they mean.”

“It’s some sort of code,” speculated their teenage son Max, who considers himself to be Palin’s “Number Zero” fan. “If there was some kinda school where they teach these black, squiggly code marks, maybe we could learn us what the heck she’s saying.”

The highschooler’s response elicited a sharp smack across the face from his mother.  “You think Sarah would want you being pulled out of home school,” asked his mother, “just to learn some fancy new code?”

“No, mama. Course not.”

The Bartod family decided to send their copy of “Rogue” back to Sarah Palin, but were faced with an insurmountable shipping problem.

“We got the book all wrapped up nicely,” said the elder Bartod, “but we can’t figger out how-in-the-world to let the mailman know where to take it.”

“If only we could learn Sarah’s code,” sighed Molly, “we could teach it to the postman, and then he’d know what to do with her book.”

Braddon Mendelson