Obama Urges Citizens to Hearken Back to the Obama of 2008

FENTON, IL (TheSkunk.org) — In a commencement address before 300 graduating high school seniors, President Obama urged Americans to recall with fondness the era of his presidential campaign of 2008, which he referred to as “good times for all.”

Obama noted that while the problems we face in this country are insurmountable, we can always “think of a time when we felt better.” He said it doesn’t bother him that his popularity has slipped in recent months, because he can remember how he single-handedly inspired the nation merely two short years ago.

“Think back to those speeches I made,” said the President, “and remember how great you felt when I rallied Americans with my positive messages of hope for better days ahead.”

He told the graduating class to study the America he envisioned during his campaign, and not its current incarnation, which he explained faced the “risk of collapsing altogether.”

“Although the anxiety and despair you experience today will only worsen in the future,” he declared, “we can close our eyes and regain those feelings of optimism by recalling my many uplifting addresses to the nation during my 2008 campaign.”

Not everyone agreed with the President’s suggested time frame for remembrance.

In a prepared statement, former president George W. Bush urged Americans to hearken back a full decade earlier, to a time prior to the 2000 elections, “before all that crazy shit happened.”

“In retrospect,” added Bush, “the 90’s are starting to look pretty good.”