Mitt Romney Eager to Lose 2012 Election
Former presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is eager to lose the 2012 election to incumbent Barack Obama.
BOSTON — Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is eager to lose the 2012 election to incumbent Barack Obama.
Romney, who failed to gain his party’s nomination in the 2008 presidential primaries, said he looks forward to being the 2012 Republican nominee and enduring an incredible “whooping” by President Obama on election night.
“I can’t wait to see just how badly I’ll get my ass kicked,” said the former Massachusetts Governor in a telephone interview with CNN. “Through my candidacy, Americans will experience the largest defeat in the history of our great nation.”
RNC Chairman Reince Priebus disagreed. “We know we’re going to lose decisively to the incumbent president,” he said, “but I think it would be in the neighborhood of six-to-one – hardly the big ass-kicking everyone’s predicting.”
Nevertheless, Romney is forging ahead with his campaign. Using his own money, he has already had 50,000 bumper stickers printed with his new campaign slogan, “Goin’ Down.”
An exploratory committee has been formed to determine whether Romney will lose by a respectable enough percentage to justify soliciting outside contributions.
“The enormity of my humiliating defeat,” stated a confident Romney, “will be matched only by the hundreds of millions of dollars corporations will flush down the toilet trying to get me elected.”
He added, “I’m excited to challenge the president with a spirited, highly ineffective campaign.”
