Clint Eastwood Pays Tribute to Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer’s Disease

TAMPA, FL (TheSkunk.org) — Actor-Director Clint Eastwood introduced Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney at the RNC convention Thursday night with a ten-minute tribute to Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer’s disease.

“President Reagan was the greatest Republican in history,” said Eastwood in an interview after the convention, “and I felt that by using my superior improvisational skills, I could capture the final moments of this remarkable man’s life by giving my impression of the disease that ravaged his mind.”

Convention delegates cheered as Eastwood mumbled incoherently while talking to an empty chair. Eastwood chastised the chair and told it to shut up, as thunderous chants of “U.S.A., U.S.A.” filled the air.

“His performance made me cry,” said one woman from the Ohio delegation. “When he mumbled his words and pretended to forget what he was going to say, it made me think of Reagan’s Alzheimer’s and the way it must have robbed him of his mental faculties — and his dignity.”

“It was confusing and somewhat scary,” said another delegate, “just like I imagine Reagan must have been in his final days. It was brilliant and very moving.”

After his speech, Romney praised Eastwood as a true American. “Reagan’s Alzheimer’s represented true American values,” he said. “And only in this country can someone like Clint Eastwood bring to life the scourge of a this horrible disease in front of millions of people.”

“Obama has not learned the lessons of Reagan’s Alzheimer’s,” added Romney, “but if I’m elected president, I will make it the touchstone of my administration.”