Romney Blasts Obama for ‘Misguided’ Purchase of Louisiana Territory

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (TheSkunk.org)  — Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney today slammed President Obama for squandering millions of taxpayer dollars in a real estate transaction with Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France, to acquire “a few acres of desolate wilderness.”

“President Obama believes it’s the government’s responsibility to enter into real estate transactions on behalf of the American people,” said the former Massachusetts governor, trying to draw a distinction between himself and his opponent.  “I believe only the private sector should be involved in the sale and purchase of real property.”

According to Romney, the land deal, known as the “Louisiana Purchase,” in which the United States agreed to pay $15 million for 828,000 square miles of territory between the Gulf of Mexico and Canada, is “another example of Obama’s big government mentality.”

“This president does not understand how business works,” said Romney. “Instead of cutting taxes, he has entered our country into a misguided agreement with an oppressive tyrant who invades sovereign nations while denying freedom to his own people.”

Romney said that if he is elected president, he will find a buyer for the territory, perhaps China or New Zealand, and make a hefty profit which can be used to further reduce taxes for the wealthy.

“And as a good faith gesture,” he added, “I’ll take only a two percent commission for myself.”