December 18, 2024

Terrorists Outraged at NSA Surveillance

MIDDLE EAST (TheSkunk.org) — A group of Islamic Jihadists bashed the U.S. government Monday for what it calls “a flagrant violation of personal privacy.”  According to Marwan Amajalleh, an explosives expert, the NSA’s recently disclosed tracking of foreign terrorists  on the Internet goes “way beyond the bounds of security.”

“We feel this whole program is unconstitutional,” said Amajellah, from an undisclosed cave on the Pakistan-Afghanistan border.  “The names of associates with whom I communicate, and those to whom I send my bomb-making instructions, is nobody’s business but me and the suicidal fanatic who will carry out my detailed directives.”

“This is totalitarianism,” he continued.  “We expect to find this type of behavior in Iran or Syria, but America has always set such a high standard.”

Amajellah contends the government tracking programs will have an adverse impact on his profession. “It’s hard to justify blowing up a place where such things can happen.”

Braddon Mendelson