COLUMBIA, SC (TheSkunk.org) – FOX News announced today it will provide pre-show coverage of Saturday’s planned KKK rally at the South Carolina Statehouse protesting the removal of the Confederate battle flag. Megyn Kelly will team with Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Steve Doocy to bring minute-by-minute commentary on the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan as they enter the north grounds of the Capitol.
“We look forward to discussing who’s dating whom and the latest trends in pointy hood fashions,” said Hasselbeck. “The atmosphere will be like the Oscars and Tony Awards all rolled into one.”
Doocy said he expects to land several interviews with the Klansmen, as they file toward the statehouse with their handmade signs of protest and authentic nineteenth-century-style nooses. “I’m in the studio so much, it’ll be nice to be out in the field to talk to these fellows,” he said. “Maybe I’ll finally get to find out what they wear under those things.”
After the pre-show, FOX will cover the main event without commercial interruptions. “This is an historical moment for our nation,” said CEO Rupert Murdoch, “and we wouldn’t want our audience to miss out on the exciting events that will occur, and the creative words and phrases that will be shouted out.”
“I just hope I pronounce everything right,” added an enthusiastic Kelly. “’Ku Klux Klan’ can be a real tongue-twister.”
The Klan refused Fox. A statement from the Grand Dragon Klegle, Billy Bob Jimmy said quote that Fox is too racist and extreme to be associated with the fine traditions of the KKK.