Mitt Romney 'Shellshocked' After Losing Papal Election to Argentine Socialist

According to a senior adviser, Romney was “shellshocked” upon learning that he lost the papacy to Jorge Mario Bergoglio, now known as Pope Francis.

Mormons Attack New Zealand Embassy to Protest Broadway Musical

Mormon Protestors Seize New Zealand Embassy

An angry mob of Mormon activists broke through the gates of the New Zealand embassy to protest the Broadway musical “the Book of Mormon.”

Egyptians Elect Tutankhamen

Ancient Pharaoh Tutankhamen, who ruled over Egypt during the 18th Dynasty, has been elected the country’s new President.

Secret Service Foils Colombian Prostitution Price Gouging Scheme

President Obama thanked the members of the Secret Service Wednesday for bringing an end to a Colombian prostitution price gouging scheme.

North Korea’s ‘Satellites at Bottom of Sea’ Program a Success

North Koreans Watch Successul Rocket Launch

North Korea successfully launched another multi-million dollar piece of electronic crap to the floor of the Atlantic Ocean Friday.

'Occupy Earth' Movement Baffles Authorities

Occupy Earth Protestor

LOS ANGELES — From Oakland to Paris, law enforcement agencies around the world are in a quandary figuring out how to deal with the new “Occupy Earth” movement.

Kadafi Dead; Gaddafi and Qaddafi Still at Large

Rare picture of Kadafi, Qaddafi and Gaddafi

Although Libyan rebels captured and killed dictator Moammar Kadafi, the U.S. government has issued a reminder that Muammer Qaddafi and Moammar Gaddafi are still at large.

Murdochs Make Offer to Acquire UK Parliament

Publishing tycoon Rupert Murdoch and his son James made an offer to purchase the British Parliament.

What are their plans?

North Korea Reports 500,000 Dissidents Killed by Freak Lightning Strike

North Korean Protestors Struck by Lightning

North Korean officials claim that over half a million dissidents, protestors and human rights activists were recently killed by a lightning strike that hit the entire country.

Gingrich to Marry bin Laden Wife No. 7

Newt Gingrich has announced plans to marry the seventh wife of slain terrorist Osama bin Laden, 19-year-old Durriya Habou bin Laden.